You Belong With Me

2012-01-01T20:51:00.003+08:00

Hello 2012

My new year's resolutions
~~1) Do not fall in love~~
2) Lose weight
3) Study hard for 'O's
4) Try my best for Chinese
5) Increase my self-esteem
6) Don't be a disappointment to anyone, especially mummy
7) Visit daddy more often
8) Get hair to grow long long! Until my ass at least.

9) Don't get into any trouble. No more detention or demerit points.
10) Pay attention in class. Don't talk, pon, etc.
11) Cut down on vulgarities
12) Be happy, stay positive.
13) Save up alot of money, don't go out too often

Let's start 2012 with a bang :)

2011-12-31T22:40:00.001+08:00

Firstly,
Happy birthday to me~

Secondly,
Almost 2012. 2011 was nothing but a bumpy road. I lost myself, I found myself. I cried, I laughed. I loved, I hurt. I did so many things, I didn't do so many others. I hoped, I wished. I fought. I lost, I won. I ran, I came back. I held on, I let go. I fell. I got back up, I fell again. So many memories, so many scars, so many new experiences. This is a year I'll never forget.

So with this, goodbye 2011 and hello 2012.
Let's hope for the best.

2011-12-16T00:31:00.003+08:00

Because I have absolutely nothing to blog about..

I shall leave you with a gif of a kitten chewing on a finger

And another gif of a cat wearing an evil pumpkin eating something

2011-12-01T18:52:00.003+08:00

YES I ATTENDED THE MNET ASIAN MUSIC AWARDS IN SINGAPORE 2011

It was fucking awesome max omg I am currently having post MAMA syndrome. Don't mind me for the next few days/weeks because I'll be spazzing about them. I was super close to them and this is my first time seeing Super Junior, miss A, 2NE1, BEAST, Kim Hyun Joong, Song Joong Ki, Simon D, Snoop Dogg, Dr Dre, etc. I've seen SNSD before but not THIS clear. I was standing IN FRONT of the center stage(the circular one). They were sooooo close to me omg Sungmin and Yesung were standing right in front of me and Eunhyuk is just super hot. OMG OMG OMGGGG MAMA 2011 ROCKED!!!!

And yes, I think I'm back to my kpop days.
And yes, I will be going to SS4 for sure.

Photos of MAMA 2011: I and II

Current craze/addiction: B1A4 - specifically Sandeul and Baro ♥ (but more of Sandeul)

SANDEUL YOU NEED TO MARRY ME NOW

k bye

2011-11-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to Serene

Happy birthday to you

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

2011-11-24T20:59:00.002+08:00

Change those voices in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tiring game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
And we try, try, try,
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.

Why do I do that? Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

2011-11-16T01:42:00.000+08:00

2011-11-11T01:45:00.001+08:00

I wanted to post this up on the last day of the year but I decided not to because I was too excited. LOL. I haven't written a proper post in a long time. Therefore, the excitement. Hahaha. Since today is 11/11/11, which other better day to post it up other than today? (And the last day of the year but I'm too excited HAHA) So here goes nothing.

2011 was a bumpy year for me, definitely. It was one big roller coaster ride. But hey, look, I'm still here, aren't I? I made it through this year. I survived. I wasn't living, I was surviving. Sorta. It was tough. I had my ups and downs. I've met new people. I've lost people. I've been happy. I've been sad. 2011 was full of roses, and also full of shit. But in the end, the year has to end, of course. And a new year will begin. Hopefully, a better year. 2012.

Starting out secondary three, new subjects and a new class definitely took some time to adjust to. But it was pretty easy, I guess. Most of my girlfs from secondary two moved up to the same class with me. Those who didn't, we definitely drifted. But of course we still are friends. Whenever we pass by each other in school, we'd say hi, give each other hugs and all. But I miss 2-5 2010 so much.

Things that made an impact in my life in 2011:

One:
3B2, the super pai class. Omg, super naughty I bth. Forever pon class, late for class and resulting in standing outside the classroom, which we don't, we sit down because we're cool, talk back to teacher, never do homework etc etc. Fucking love this class. Mr G was our form teacher for the first half of the year. I miss him. I'm sure the entire class misses him. He was so fun and he can click with the students well. He makes his lessons fun and interesting. I must say 3B2 is a damn lucky class to have gotten him as our form teacher. But with good stuff comes bad stuff. Our co-tutor, Miss Kok. Every end of a term, she will never fail to lecture us about academics, attire, attitude etc etc. But of course, I know she means well. She doesn't want to see us failing and everything. And who'd forget our favourite math teacher, Mr Francis Lee. Cheebye, talking to the whiteboard only. Everybody pon class he also don't give a shit. Changing our science teachers every term, getting cleanest class for consecutively FIVE weeks. Wow. Hahahaha, 3B2 is fucking awesome and I love you guys so much.

Two:
My 14-membered clique. A huge clique, right? Of course, we're awesome like that. Hahaha. We've been through so much together. We started off so strong, but now we're even stronger. We cried together, we laughed together. We had our clique talks and that made us even stronger. You all are so important and special to me. You guys are practically family to me. My sisters, and I know you guys will always be there for me. I know we'll always be there for each other. Although we had some conflicts here and there, we faced it together and I know we all love each other alot. You guys are one of the best things that happened to me this year. I will never forget anyone of you. We have to go our seperate ways sooner or later, but I will always remember you guys as the people who light up my life. The people who were always here, trying to cheer me up whenever I'm down.

Alfreda: we always have our h2hs during F&N lesson. You're my F&N buddy! You give great advice and I love that you trust me to tell me your problems too. I know that I can always go to you whenever I need someone to talk to and you will always be there. I love you, babe.

Cara: you are forever hitting me. That hurts :'( Hahaha. Cara, you are like my big sister. No kidding. You always, and I really mean ALWAYS, know whenever something is wrong. You just look at me and suddenly go "what's wrong?" like you can read my mind. It's freaky, you know. But thank you for always being there for me. I love you.

Michelle: I've known you since what, P5? We've been through loads together. Remember our quarrel in secondary one? Psh, so childish. Haha. You've matured alot and I've seen you grow alot since secondary one. And I'm proud of you babe. You too always lend me a listening ear whenever I need one. Thank you so much, I love you.

Huijuan: you are beautiful, love. I always see your tweets about you putting yourself down and it hurts me as much as it hurts you. I think you're amazing, so chin up and think positive. You are so strong, and I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me in times of need.

Brandi: forest of hair and my 101 buddy! Ever since you shifted house, that is. Watching a horror movie with you is hilarious, I end up laughing at the people in it rather than screaming. Hahaha. You keep your chin up too alright? You are beautiful and I love you.

Valderee: my other 101 buddy! We just met this year and you are an amazing person. You are one of the kindest people I've met and I feel that you deserve more than what you're getting. I'm always here for you if you need someone, I love you.

Rachel: I love your sister. HAHA. Kidding. You are so tall and thin, I'm so jealous. You are so beautiful. I love how you have such a nice heart, always putting others first before you. But sometimes, you have to think about yourself too, okay? I'm here for you. I love you, Rachel.

Bob: heyyaaaa Bob! I met you this year and you're such a fun person to be around with. I remember how you used to carry me and swing me round and round... until I got fat and you couldn't lift me up anymore. Hahhahaa, kidding! I love you and I'm glad to have met you. :)

Celine: you are always here for me. Every time I cry in school, you'd give me a hug and ask me what's wrong. You always come to me when you have problems too. I'm glad you trust me enough to come crying to me. Still remember the times you followed me home just because you had time. Hahah. I love you.

Hannah: I will never forget the crazy times we had this year. Be it at the airport, at my house, your house, in bus 53, anywhere. You are a ball of fun and I love being around you. And of course, you were my partner for about a term? Sitting beside you during class was so much fun. Doodling on each others notes and stuff. I love you, Hannah.

Vanna: my tuition buddy! You were my super junior buddy in secondary one and two too, yknow. Haha! But we're both over the kpop phase, so. Going to tuition with you every week is so fun. Camwhoring every session and filling up my ipod's photo album with your face. Hahaha. I love you so much.

Jocelyn: you are an irritant, but I still love you so fucking much. With your super painful boob-squishing hug and you forever wanted to grab hold of my hand. Haha. And and and your version of the wooooo wooooo part of For The First Time! Hahaha. I love you Jocelyn, and you're special to me because we are the only two UG girls in our clique! Hahaha.

Leyun: our brother-in-law! Haha. I hope you don't feel like you're not part of the clique, because you are. I'm sure everyone else thinks that way too. You are a nice person and is really fun to be with. I still remember your cow song, and the one with Celine farting or something. Oh and the "I didn't walk under the rain, is the rain catch me!" Hahaha. I love you.

I sound like I'm going to die or something, but no. Hahaha. I just want to personalise a little message to my entire clique. I hope you guys will see this. I love you all so much.

The next point.. I wrote this much earlier in late October. But then something struck me.. and I guess I changed. I wanted to erase this entire portion, but I decided not to. This person was special. So, here it goes. My favourite mistake.
Three:
On 31 January, I met a beautiful, amazing person. This person was special to me and meant alot to me. I felt complete whenever I was with this person. I wished time would stop whenever I was with this person. I enjoyed this person's company even if we were just sitting there doing nothing. This person made my heart jump a billion times before. Just this person's presence alone made me feel safe, secure and.. happy.. I guess.

I believe I was there for this person whenever possible. Whenever this person had troubles or problems, I was always there to listen. I don't know whether this person knows or not, but I was always there. Waiting. I was waiting for this person to come to me whenever this person needs a listening ear. I was just standing there, waiting. And whenever this person came to me to rant or anything, I'd always try my best. I'd try my best to give advice or to comfort this person. It may not seem much, but I try. Though sometimes I do not know what to say because I suck at giving advice, I listen. I try to understand though it may not be possible, but like I said, I try. It always hurt me so bad whenever I see this person sad. It makes me sad too. I wish I could take away all the pain this person felt. But I never believed that I was enough to do so.

We had our ups and downs at times, definitely. This person brought me both laughter and pain. This person made me cry, and also made me smile. This person is probably one of the best thing that happened to me this year. But of course I had many difficult and painful moments in between, but hey, like I said, I'm still here right?

This person brought me many memories, be it good or bad. I remember on 18 March, we celebrated our birthdays although they weren't anywhere near March. On 27 May, we watched our first movie together. We had a mini wasabi eating competition, which resulted in me being in alot of pain(!!!) I would always look forward to the next time this person would call and talk to me on the phone. We'd talk for hours. Even when I was exhausted, I forced myself to stay awake just to listen to this person's voice. Just to spend time with this person even if this person wasn't physically next to me. I didn't mind sacrificing sleep for this person. Every time we text at night, I'd stay awake to wait for this person's reply and risk getting caught by my mum because I'm texting instead of sleeping. Just knowing that this person is taking time to do all these things with me makes me happy.

I could tell this person anything, my secrets, my troubles etc and receive comfort and advice in return. This person is also one of the most stubborn person in the world, which is annoying. If I could, I'd rewind time and undo all the mistakes I did if I ever hurt this person in any way. But in the end, I have no regrets meeting this person. I hope you didn't regret meeting me either. I know I can be a huge fuck up at times, but thank you for bearing with me all the time. Thank you for putting up with all the times I was being stupid, an embarrassment, or when I was just being annoying. I'm sorry, I know I can be difficult at times, but thank you for loving me. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for being my friend.

This person once told me to let go. But I couldn't. It was so difficult. But now I've moved on. I still wish this person happiness. I wish all the sadness in the world could disappear from this person's life. I wish this person could smile and really mean it. I wish this person would realise how beautiful this person really is. Afterall, this person was once my miracle.

Oh, believe me, I loved you.

Four:
I started this year as a strong, confident girl. I think. Maybe. Or not.. I can't really remember the last time I was happy. Truly, truly happy. I can't remember the last time I was confident about myself. I can't remember the last time I had hope. I can't remember the last time I didn't give a shit about anything. How did I get here? Why am I still here? How did I even last this long? I don't even recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror anymore. All I see is a stranger. A sad, lonely, broken stranger. It was difficult. Being me is difficult. Pretending to be happy when all you want to do is break is difficult. Smiling is getting harder and harder everyday. Living through the same shit every day of every week is difficult. Having to face the demons in your head is difficult. Looking at the mirror and wanting to take a table to smash it to pieces is difficult. Life is difficult. But nobody said life would be easy. But also, nobody said life would be this difficult. But hey, I put through with everything that happened this year. Of course I broke. I broke many times. I lost hope. I had no hope. Everything came crashing down on me. I didn't believe in anything anymore. After all these, I'm still here. Hopefully, maybe, just maybe, things will, things MIGHT get better next year. Maybe? Hope. Just hope. That's all you can do. Hope. But hope... sometimes can lead in disappointment. So let's just see. Let's just see how far I can bend before I break, shall we? Because life doesn't stop for anyone. We cannot control what happens, but we can control how we feel. How we think. How we want to take it. So let's just go with the flow and see how much crap I can withstand.

As I lie here typing this, time is passing. Time flies. The year 2011 is coming to an end. 2012 is starting soon. A new year. A brand new beginning. It's time to put away your past, your hate, your guilt, your regrets, your sadness, everything. Put everything that happened in 2011, or even the past years. Put them all away. Because if you bring it along with you to the year 2012, I'm telling you, 2012 is going to suck. So just start over, this is a chance to start over. Take it. Take whatever chances you have for they might not appear again.

For me, I will be taking my O Levels. It's going to be a struggle, judging from what a dumbfuck I am. But everyone has to go through major exams. I won't be struggling alone. I know I have my friends to support me. I'm sure that they are more than willing to help me in my studies.

With this, all I have to say is: 2012, here I come. Let's hope I make it through the year.

2011-11-07T22:27:00.003+08:00

Now here I am, picking up the pieces and trying to fix me back together again. I may have taken a step back up after letting go, but there are a hundred more steps to climb. The hole I've dug for myself is way too deep. I may not hurt anymore, but there are scars. Everything leaves scars.

The day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
"Pain was merely a steep hill to climb. It felt like it would go on and on and on, but there would always be a summit. There was no hill on earth without a summit."

2011-11-04T18:37:00.002+08:00

Happiness feels so far away

How do you lose something you never had? How could you be afraid of losing something you never had? How do you let go of something you never had? How could you feel sad just with the thought of something you never had slipping away from your fingers?

I can't even smile to the mirror anymore. It's difficult to even smile now. Sad. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't like to be sad. Being sad hurts. But I don't know how not to feel sad. I can't remember what happiness feels like. That's what pain does to you. That's what you get when you keep going down.

I see me, I see me standing in darkness. In front of me is a road. It's the only road I can take. This road is dark, narrow and it leads to nothingness. Then there's a dead end.

It's alright, I give up on me too.

2011-11-03T23:58:00.005+08:00

It's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough it's not enough.

It's not enough.

But I try..

Try harder.

I try. And try, and I try, I try, and I try again.
And again, and again, and again and again and again.

Then, I always, always. Always, always fail.

Fail fail fail fail fail. Sadness, hurt, pain. Pain. Pain, pain, pain.

So much pain.

So much sadness.

The cycle repeats.

Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope.

Oh, hell. It's the same every single fucking night.

2011-11-03T22:51:00.003+08:00

There's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay

Will you love me?

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away

Don't run away
Promise you'll stay

2011-10-31T01:07:00.003+08:00

I'm down on my knees, I thought I was stronger

2011-10-28T17:15:00.003+08:00

Real eyes realise real lies

Too broken to be fixed. I can't do this alone. It has come to the point where I can't believe anymore. I can't believe in anything anymore. I don't know what to believe in. And because when I believe, it'll end up in disappointment and pain. People don't really care whether you're okay or not, I guess they are just curious at times. Interesting story to listen to, so why not? You know.. Living in a lie, having the sad, painful feeling of being used, of not being good enough, of all the shit revolving around you attacking you at once, it's hard. It's hard to live like this. One day everything will fall. Everything will break. I will break. So pathetic. As I sit here and just let life pass miserably, all I feel is numbness. I'm comfortably numb. Give up.. hang on.. give up.. hang on.. both are equally tough. So what do you do when you're on the edge? One more push and you're gone. I lost. I lost the war, the battle. The battle I was fighting alone. The battle against myself. I never once won any battles anyway. No surprise. Weak. So fucking weak. Letting everything, any small tiny thing affect you and bring you down. That sucks. Hell is on earth. Hell is in you. Everything is hell. Hell, hell, hell. Fuck.

"It occurred to me that there was a story behind the scar - maybe not as dramatic as the story of my wrists, but a story nonetheless - and the fact that everyone had a story behind some mark on their inside or outside suddenly exhausted me, the gravity of all those untold pasts."

"I didn't understand how someone could be both God and the devil. How the same person could destroy you and save you."

BELIEVE

2011-10-22T18:07:00.002+08:00

"Well, I do want you. So be brave and want me back."

It seems to me that the harder I try, the harder I fall.

"One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. Nobody knows what's going on with you. How could anybody realize what's happening? Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. But for you, there's no difference in the days. They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it's all gone."

2011-10-03T20:36:00.003+08:00

There's so much craziness surrounding me, there's so much going on it gets hard to breathe

School is shit. Exams are shit. Family is shit. The world is shit. My head is shit. I am shit.

School and exams: sick and tired of studying. It drains shit out of me.
Family: hopeless, hopeless, hopeless. What family? We don't even derserve to be called a family. Forever having conflicts, it's never ending. Quarrels, tears, anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, pain. It goes on and on and on.. It's been a year and a half. When the fuck are things going to get better? Fucking lies. All of the 'it'll get better' and 'everything will be okay' are bullshit. Nothing really gets better.
The world: you know it yourself.
My head: no change. Worse, maybe. Still busy with the things I can't get rid of.
Me: lost, broken and numb.

2011-10-01T01:50:00.004+08:00

Things have been... difficult and complicated. Every new day is just another struggle for me. Every night I go to bed thinking that I can be strong, because I just made it through today. But we all know we can only hurt so much before breaking, and 'being strong' is completely shit and of no use because it all comes down to nothing. My heart is pretty much dead right now, my mind is a war zone, my eyes reflect exhaustion, pain and sadness, my outer appearance shows happiness, my skin is a canvas, my emotions are riding a rollercoaster, my home is no longer a home. I'm still holding on to what used to be a thick and strong rope, but is now thin and fragile. Still being accompanied every night by those little people in my head. Still falling. Still sad. In short, I'm just one big wreck that's going to take awhile to fix.

Feels like hell's all you've been through

2011-09-30T17:34:00.003+08:00

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2011-09-25T18:26:00.001+08:00

Give your heart a break, there's just so much you can take

2011-09-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

How do you let go of something you never had?

2011-09-03T01:47:00.001+08:00

Goodbye Mama, I love you forever Xx

see you soon

2011-08-21T21:13:00.001+08:00

2011-08-10T19:57:00.003+08:00

National Day Parade 2011

my first ever NDP experience :)
i had so much fun. made so many new friends with people from different GB companies around Singapore :) new memories that i'll never forget :) missing everyone already though it was only just yesterday. MAJULAH ~ The Singapore Spirit~ NDP 11 GB Contingent ♥

2011-08-06T16:16:00.002+08:00

Letting go. Holding on. Happiness. Sadness. Pain. Hurt. Tears. Forced laughter. Fake smiles. Confusion. Numbness. Scars. Anger. Frustration. Changes. Jealousy. Tired eyes. Not good enough. Emptiness. Pretense. Sorrow. Broken. Wreck. Miserable.

It never really ends, does it?

It's a vicious cycle

2011-07-26T22:21:00.002+08:00

Harsh realisations and tired eyes

Maybe I was just fooling myself the entire time. I was lying to myself. Maybe I shouldn't be too happy about it. Because maybe I can never really feel what true happiness is. I always fall. All roads lead to a sad end. You can't change it.

Real eyes realise real lies

"I'm looking at you and my heart loves the view. You've got a smile that only heaven can make, I pray to god everyday that you keep that smile"

2011-07-12T20:38:00.002+08:00

Grab your gun, time to go to hell

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the biggest fool of them all? Silly you, you're staring at her.

Don't be fooled by her smile. She says she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story. "They say that I can't last a day in the real world, I say you wouldn't survive one night in mine"

On the inside, you're only one step away from the edge. What doesn't kill you makes you wish it did. You're tired of being strong. All you want to do is vanish. Disappear. Be gone. You don't wish to exist anymore.

You think "tomorrow I will wake up and be happy".. who're you kidding? You'll never make it. This will all end in blood and tears.

But for now, let's just pretend that everything is okay, shall we?

2011-07-07T15:48:00.002+08:00

Almost gone

Weak. So weak. You're falling slowly. You're being dragged down by the voices in your head. You try your best not to show it, but it was too overwhelming. In the end you fail to keep it in. You breakdown. You cry and cry and cry. You're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Hope? There is no hope. You're stuck here forever.

But you only have yourself to blame.

2011-07-05T21:54:00.012+08:00

You only see what I choose to show

✡

............................

2011-06-28T20:19:00.003+08:00

600th post

numb. just numb. why did i get myself into this? and how do i get out? so much going on in my mind everyday, every night. so much till i can't fall asleep until late at night. everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. "everything will be ok, it will get better" what if it never gets better? what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. but maybe im just tired of being strong. because sometimes strong isnt strong enough. what's the point, you try to start from scratch but get let down.

it's the kind of lonely where even in a room filled with people, you feel alone. it's as if no one is there. because nobody will understand. you can try telling people your troubles, but they will never understand. they're not you. they dont feel what you feel. they dont know how it feels. how it hurts. how it kills. how it eats you inside out. but sometimes you cant even tell others how you feel. you try, but you just cant. you cant find the words to describe your feelings. or maybe you just dont know and are not sure of how you even feel. so in the end, you fail. you fail to know yourself. you dont know who you are anymore. you look back and think how did i get here, where am i, who am i, why am i even still here?

you cant remember the previous time you were happy, like truly happy. you sometimes try to fool yourself into thinking that you are happy and that the pain will soon go away. but in the end you get disappointed because the pain never leaves. it stays in you and haunts you forever. and the disappointment makes the pain grow. maybe at one point, you think the demons in your head left. but darling, you're wrong. it's just hiding. it's taking a break. it will make you think that it's gone, and that you're finally happy. then suddenly.. one day, it'll jump out of nowhere and surprise you. it'll hit you ten times worse. it'll screw your mind up and swallow you deep down into nothingness.

you're back to square one. everything repeats all over again. but this time, worse. and you have no one to turn to. you look in all directions, but all you see are walls. white and plain walls. no one's around. nobody's here. you're alone. you're trapped. you're trapped in your own mind. that's the scariest thing. being alone with your mind scares you. your mind has taken control over you. you're suffering everyday. you go to school with a happy mask and fool all your friends. they think you're happy. they make you think you're happy for awhile too, but you'll snap back to reality soon after and notice you're not. and then you wonder, when was the last time i was happy? you try your best to recall, you wreck your brain to think, but to no avail.

you end up falling deeper knowing that you've not been happy for a long time. and sometimes, you put up a mask for so long you get lost behind it. you dont know what this mask of yours is covering. at night, you're not alone. you're never alone. the voice, thoughts, those demons in your head. they're with you. they're a part of you. you cant get rid of them no matter how hard you try. you try to distract yourself with other activities, but they are always there. whatever you do, they will find a way to screw you up. and then you think why, why are they in your head? what do they want? but you think again. you realised, you created them. you created those demons in your head. you let them in. and now you want them out, but it's not that easy. you try to get back up, but you keep falling instead.

suddenly, maybe, those demons become your best friends. you start to believe them. you start to believe what those voices in your head are saying. you think that way too. you agree with them. you're self destructive now. you put yourself down, you think you can never do anything right. whenever the voice whispers a negative thought, you agree. you think it's true. you know it's true. your heart is fighting against it, but your mind is too powerful. you start to drown yourself in those thoughts. you know what you're doing. but you just can't stop. those voices are you. they are who you are. you are who they are. so you live everyday with those thoughts running in your head.

you still manage to put up that mask every morning. but sometimes when you wake up, you wake up dead. at night, you go to sleep dead, and you wake up feeling the same. even sleep cant help you now. you wake up tired of life. you sit at the edge of your bed thinking why is this happening to you, why are you feeling this way. you cant help it, though. it just comes like that. it takes over you just like that.

you're weak. you're tired of feeling like this. but you get up still and dress through the mess. everything you do fucks up. you fuck every thing up. you are a fuck up yourself. you push people away, you feel like a burden. you try not to get too close to someone because you know that everyone leaves in the end. you try not to make someone your everything because once you lose them you've got nothing. but it all doesnt happen that way. you get close to someone, you're so attached to them, but they leave. and then suddenly you'll think that everyone leaves. you will feel so alone. you will feel that everyone will leave because of you. because you are a dumb fuck up that burdens everyone. you feel like a burden. you feel like a nobody. you feel like a no good human being. you dont even feel like a human. you feel like a monster. an ugly monster that ruins everything.

you look in the mirror, all you see is a stranger. you look at that face and think who is that? you've never seen yourself like this before. you stare at that stranger, and there's tears flowing down her cheek. there's nothing you can do to help that stranger. that stranger's too lost to be found, and she fell too deep to climb back up. you look into her eyes and all you see is sadness and hatred. hatred for herself.

you want to cry, but you cant find the tears. it's like they're all dried up. gone. all you can do is lie there on your bed, motionless. you feel empty. you feel like nothing. you feel like the world is a better place without you. you feel like your life is not worth living. you feel like giving up. you've got nobody to tell everything to. you hide everything too well. nobody asks if you're okay. what's bad about trying to be too strong is that people will think that everything is okay and not ask if you are doing fine or not.

so you feel alone again. and the cycle repeats. until your death. you wonder when everything is going to end for good. you cant wait.

2011-06-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

in the end we all know we only breathe for so long

2011-06-23T22:14:00.002+08:00

so what am i fighting for

hello dead + boring blog that nobody reads. muahahaahaha.

i didnt update for like damn long ahahahah
can you believe it this blog used to get 3,000+ views per month
now it's like........ *cricket sound*
ever since i privated it due to personal reasons,
i've lost viewers. i tried to bring it back up but my laziness got in the way.
HAHAHAHA im like a lazy pig ok stfu whatevre rahslidalkfanjhdlkfja

anyway my holidays have been filled with......boringness
lol and a few stuff here and there
most of the days i just really rot at home ahhahah
but this june holidays really passed like damn fast lol
all of my saturdays were taken up by ndp trainings
i love ndp trainings though :) it's fun though it's tiring
well sort of tiring, to a certain extent. hahahahaa.
but sometimes it's kind of slack ;D but i still love trainings hahaha
made new friendssssss yay!
then i spent alot of time this holidays with hannah too :)
went out with her a couple of times.
other than that it's just........ rotting. hahahahah.
but this holidays is a good break :)
good break from everything lol at least i get to try to sort my mind out without school being in the way
ok not really i didnt really sort my mind out hahaha
it's impossible. LOL ok la not impossible maybe just difficult but idk la whaterver ok hahahaha

anyway my sis entered oreo in a competition :)
we're currently in 3rd place!
gotta bring him down to the pet carnival this sunday for final judging.
will not put up the link and everything here now cause voting closes tonight at 11:59pm!!
so.. AIYA ACTUALLY IM JUST LAZY LOL

friday(tomorrow): breakfast with my gbclique omg cant wait i miss them so much :D then sergeant's weekend lololol sian max
saturday: sergeant's weekend IN FULL U, then ndp training!
sunday: pet carnival :DDDD baking at night to bring to school to share share with my friends :D

weeeeee ok bye

2011-06-13T19:28:00.001+08:00

i want to live my bby's life

anyway isnt he adorable hehehhehe i love my bby ♥

okay my life is boring hahahha nothing to update

2011-06-05T21:51:00.002+08:00

Even the flowers must die in the end

hi hi~~

i just came back from my malaysia ocip trip today!
reached back in sg at around 4plus :)
im quite tired now and im not feeling well
but i shall blog because if i dont do it now i dont think i'll ever do it harhar

1 june - day 1
met at school at 7 and boarded the bus
the journey there was pretty okay ~
i slept for awhile. had lunch at A&W.
the next few hours in the bus, all of us were singing songs
we were actually practicing for the nkf patients thing
hahahah but the four of us (my group) , vinita alfreda nabila and i were going mad singing the songs
then we had a mini party by playing baby and other songs and singing along to it
hahahaha it was fun :)
checked in to international youth centre, then went down to idk where i cant rmb for dinner
and our dinner was at 5pm LOL who eats dinner at 5pm
anw went down to kids kingdom and set up everything.
decorated the boards and all :)
went back and had to stay up to do and make some stuff for the next day
cant rmb what time we slept. around 11 plus?
yup. slept through the night without waking up :) shiok i like (y)

2 june - day 2
woke up at 6 i think o_o cant rmb again LOL my memory sucks
went for breakfast. ate prata i think! HAHAHA
i think this is when nabila ordered wrongly
cause alfreda and nabila both wanted ice milo. so it's 2 cups right,
so nabila went to order it at the counter,
she came back happily,and then when the waiter came,
he came back with not 2, but 3 cups of milo. and what's worse is that the milo wasnt ice milo. it was hot milo. HAHAHAHAH.
so poor alfreda and nabila had to finish up 3 cups of hot milo, and the milo was gross
but they didnt finish it in the end. HAHA.
anyway after that headed down to kids kingdom.
met the kids for the first time! they were pretty shy at first but i guess after awhile they got comfortable and was enthu :)
taught them our RESPECT song heheh they were so adorable singing it ;)
met my eyecandy for the first time on that day hehe i love him he is so adorable + cool :D
he knows maroon 5 sia omg hahhaa and he's 10 years old! how cool :D
haha anyway continued with the programme and all.
after everything, went for dinner then headed down to rumah sayangan.
it's an orphanage, and the kids there were just adorable + lively :)
my group was in charge of those below 11 years old and my kid was andrew!
he is so intelligent and fast and he's super good with folding stuff :)
talented kid 101 HAHAHA. left after awhile and went back to iyc
had debrief for damnnnnnn long. until 11 plus i think lol cant rmb.
slept pretty late that night cause we had some stuff to do i think.
slept through the night again :D

3 june - day 3
woke up and went for breakfast. prata againnnn hahahha.
headed down to the NKF centre.
went in and interacted with the patients there :)
they're all really friendly and nice. some told us their stories also hahaha
some chinese uncle talked to me nonstop ahhaha god was testing my chinese skills
LOL anw after that i think we had lunch, then went down to kids kingdom :D
happy to see my kids + my eyecandy hohohoho
had activities and games and everything, then after that headed down to Jusco shopping centre
ate dinner as a big group, then we were given free time to jalan
but my group just walked around abit, bought some food, then lepak at starbucks hoho
STARBUCKS!!!*shake* HAHAHA inside joke ;D
met up with the rest then went back to iyc.
had a debrief again and this time the debrief wasnt that long :D
cause we learnt from our prev day's mistakes and did well on that day! yayyy hahhaha
went back to our room and my group had to create a dance/aerobics for the kids at kids kingdom the next day for morning exercise
so my group went to some place outside where there was a sofa and wifi ~~
we started dancing tribal dances and went mad
after like damn long, we realised there was a cctv above us watching us
the ppl confirm think we doing witchcraft or smth HAHAHAH damn funny
anw after that went back and slept ~~

4 june - day 4
last day with the kids at kids kingdom :(((
met them and sang the RESPECT song first,
then was our dance!! :D it was quite successful i guess
the kids enjoyed themselves and danced along :)
but some kids never dance :( nvm i think they're shy ^^
was damn tiring though, i was dancing like a siao zhar boh HAHAH perspired like mad
had other activities, then our farewell lunch :(
had pizza! the kids were so happy :)
took pictures with many kids and exchanged numbers
well, only i gave them my number, they didnt give me theirs ahhaha
and some of them have facebook!
my eyecandy has facebook :D he added me!!!! ehehhehehe :D
anyywayyyyy hahahahaha
said our goodbyes, gave each other hugs and then we packed up.

OMGGGG MY EYECANDY JUST TALKED TO ME ON FACEBOOK HOW CUTEEEEE
but i scared he doesnt understand me cause he doesnt realy know english,
and i dont know malay :( oh noooo
OK BASIC ENGLISH!!!!
ANYWAY HAHAHAHAHHAH

went to visit the people staying in the long houses/low cost living houses thingy
it was pretty interesting.
the guy from the 2nd house we visited introduced us to JESSIE CHUNG
HAHAHAHAH damn funny sia
she's a transsexual LOL and apparently she said that god asked her to turn into a woman -_-
wtf right hahhaha i dont believe though
but apparently she saved alot of people's lives with her health supplements hahaha
after the visitation we went down to tesco!
ate at Cravings with vinita alfreda and nabila then went crazy
we headed to tesco's huge supermarket and took 2 trolleys
vinita and nabila sat in them while alfreda and i pushed
we ran around and screamed and everything
WE WERE IN MALAYSIA. WHO CARESSSSS. HAHHAHAHAHA.
we went crazy and made alot of noise pushign the trolleys around
then suddenly some staff walked to another staff and looked at us and talked to their walkie talkies or whatever
so i think the whole of tesco's staff knew about us alr LOLLL
we ran away and jumped out of our trolleys and walked like normal humans hHAHAHA
went down to walk around some more and we saw jessie chung's supplement shop!!
we were like "OMG IT'S JESSIE!!!" HAHAHHAHAHA damn funny
and we dance behind a woman playing the piano, and after awhile we realised she could see us because the piano's surface was reflective or something HHAHAHA omg
we also bought half a watermelon for our room party later that night
and after we bought it we noticed we got scammed because we bought it for 10rm
and we were like OMG IT'S SO CHEAP IT'S SO CHEAP!!!
then when we went to the pasarmalam that night, we realised that they were selling it there for like 2rm..... wtf right hHAHAHAH nvm it's not like everyday we buy half a watermelon. LOL.
headed back to IYC and had a debrief session, then some free time, then went down to the pasarmalam
bought alot of unnecessary stuff HAHAHAH
bought a toy sword with nabila to have a sword fight later that night in the room HAHA
we got upin and ipin balloons too!! but they ended up scaring us in the room at night cause their faces were so creepy HAHAH
bought a hello kitty watch and a superman tee :)
went back and had free time all the way!!! woohooo~~
bathed, then ate cup noodles and our watermelon HAHAHA we just scooped it up with a spoon
then we took out our glow sticks and switched off all the lights
one glow stick broke so the liquid came out,
we dripped it all over our bodies and glowed. super cool!!!
but then suddenly nabila read the box, and she screamed "LET'S GO RINSE!!!!!1 IN CASE OF SKIN CONTACT!!!!" and we all ran to the toilet and washed off everything
she didnt even read the entire sentence, just "in case of skin contact" made us fly to the toilet to wash everything off HAHAHAH it was epic i swear
and minna and idk who else knocked down two lockers LOLOL lucky the bed was there to support it!!! they left a dent in the locker HAHAH funny ttm
danced in the dark with the glow sticks on and went mad
after awhile we all were screaming cause of the upin&ipin balloons cause it was so damn creepy HAHAHAH
and we wanted to scare room 208 but failed miserably.
we just knocked on their door and ran away or something LOLL.
went to sleep at around 1am i think!

5 june - day 5
the entire room, the 12 of us, woke up late.
it was damn funny omgggg HAHAAH party until oversleep!!!
12 of us had only 15 minutes to prepare
we all chiong like mad HAHAH! i love my room mates i swear hehe
had breakfast, then we were given time to pack our stuff
packed, then boarded the bus.
i slept throughout the journey woohoo it was damn shiok (y)
went pass immigration and everything.
otw back to PL in s'pore, the entire back row were singing random songs
it was sooo funny + cute cause they dk the lyrics,
so they just went LALALALA and NANANANAN HAHAHAH
reached PL at around 5 and miss yoong, miss gan and some other teachers were waiting for us!
hahahah said goodbye and everything and went home.
came home and bathed and went out for sushi with mama and sister!!

im gonna miss this trip so much.
created so many memories, had so much fun + laughter, forged new friendships and everything :)
i love room 206. it's the bessssttt room evaaaaahhhh~~
alfreda micaela vinita nabila minna kiahling wanning maya leedea mingjia dharsyini zhiqing
all 12 of us heheheh i love you all ;D
and i miss all of my kids there. not only at kids kingdom, but rumah sayangan too :(
i wish we could spend more time with the kids at rumah sayangan :(
oh well. hahahhaha. this trip was a great experience :)
but before this i was like walao idw go ocip blah blah blah
HAHAHAHA OH WELL, i've changed. so. yup. hahahah.
byebye :)

2011-05-30T01:05:00.000+08:00

2011-05-19T16:58:00.003+08:00

I'm looking at you and my heart loves the view

hello meowmeow

this is really a dead space i doubt anyone comes here anymore
unless i update HAHAHAH
ok anyway i will announce on my twitter if i update one what
so.. yup
oh and i revived my formspring!!!! hallelujah.
it's at the bottom on the left column so spam me!!
hahahahahahahahahaahahahah.

first official external rehearsal for ndp 2011 parade segment started on saturday!
it was pretty awesome :)
quite tiring but yep was alright.
made new friends :D and cherie is gna pangseh me for 2 trainings so...
im gna be lonelychild96 LOL

anyway tuesday was a holiday yay
met up with everyone and went to nex to eat and idk do what
hannah and jocelyn came over after that to watch hsm 1, 2 and 3 and play kinect!
the hsm thing was abit fail cause they spent the entire time playing kinect
i was the one watching it HAHAHHAHA
oh well. i love high school musical woohoo
yesterday after school and cca went to nex with geena to eat icecream and shaker fries (y)
didnt eat anything but that the whole day at all yesterday haha
and after that shakerfries and icecream thing i didnt eat anything until now
im eating curry noodles now
i just didnt feel like eating anything la k hahahha cause i have sore throat
then i dont feel like letting anything pass thru my throat
yknow yknow? LOL.
anyway i didnt eat for 24hours and now finally im eating
the curry noodles tastes x100 times better LOL

anyway hahahaha got most of my results back
im kinda upset over it but ahhhhhh try harder next term i guess
that's all i can really do now
but i really did very badly in literature
i always aim high for lit but this time i got fucking low
and in case you want to know about how much this fucking low is,
i got the lowest in class k. i think. should be. hahahaha.
so far we've gotten 7 papers back
i passed 3 failed 4 wtf
but hvnt combine all those that needed to be combine la haha
sian i need to buck up :/

ok bye

2011-05-10T18:44:00.002+08:00

16dc15df

harro nihao konichiwa annyeonghaseyo selamat...datang??o_o sawadikap(sp?LOL)
ok HI
hahahah im so funny
the gif so cute hor hor hor hor hor hor so sweet it gives me diabetes

SIX PAPERS DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO
jyjyjyjyjyjyjyjy gogogogo we can do this
chemistry tmr - i think i'll die.
f&n on thursday - ..........idk LOL
ndp internal training on thursday,
then official ndp trainings start on saturday.
SIAN. bye saturdays *wave wave* (until 9 aug la)
EVERYONE MUST WATCH THE NDP OK try to spot me HOHOHOHOHO
im gonna be famous woohoo LOLJK
dont mistake cherie for me or me for cherie hor
SEE PROPERLY!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH

anw the weather's been really fucked recently
like seriously. so bloody hot got money take?!
then this morning it rained. SO COOLING WOOHOO everyone praise the lord hallelujah
after awhile? cb sun decides to appear and it gets all hot again
RAIN RAIN Y U GO AWAY pls stay with me i lub u HAHAHAHAH
please la, i rather it rain like mad and be freezing cold than it to be super hot
i hate to perspire. ewwww. gross.

anyway my tests so far was............okay
i think i'll do worse for this term compared to last term :(
SS - i think ok ok only lor.
geog - confirm fail. if i pass it's a miracle.
english - i think can pass la lol
math - fail
bio - i think can pass also, nt sure :/
lit - fail....................
im fucking sad about lit ok... zzzz
i open the paper read the qns only i want to cry only
25 marks question i only write 1 page 6 lines.
confirm fail lor. if i pass, i shave my head bald ah

ocip is coming up. few more weeks and im off to malaysia
1 june - 5 june, plz dont miss me everyone im sure you will
LOLJK HAAHAHAHAHAH
spending 5 whole days with my alfreda
YES MY ALFREDA PLS GO AWAY SHE'S MINE LOLOLOL
not really looking forward to it cause idw to 'step out of my comfort zone'
i wna stay in it la -___- but...........i shall just go hahahaahahahaha
BO BIAN. right? so ya.

my stomach just growled. im hungry.
a hungry micaela is an angry micaela.
LOL. OK BYE.

2011-05-03T20:16:00.000+08:00

9 days clean, 8 days free

hihihihi

today was the first official day of exams
and i cant wait for it to be over already hahahaha
i have a feeling i'll do badly for this term's cts :(
really :(( i've been slacking quite alot and isnt serious
sian......and i failed my bio test :(
sadkid96

today is a late day but i woke up early to go nomnom with shining
macs brkfast fkyea hehe pancakes
went to school and saw hannah on the way!
took bus with her too and had SS paper
was quite okay i guess :/ passable? i not sure hahahah i hope so
*cross fingers* ;(
chinese aft the paper, nothing much lol boring
spent my recess trying to blow dry cara's ccm book because alfreda's water bottle leaked
and her whole book was soaked hahahah
now her book like maggi mee book only LOL permed HAHA
went to buy drinks for people and went back up to class
had bio next, got back class test
i failed ok i failed :((
was abit down and super exhausted at that time so i slept throughout the entire lesson
woke up and was abit moody but hahahah got better after awhile :)
went to the lab for F&N and i didnt bring my harddisk -___-
so i spent 1h45min doing NOTHING
waste time only......sian hahah
went back to class and studied geog while waiting for shining
took 53 down to bishan and went to buy fries from macs
headed to her house to study and yes i did study!!!1 (hooray)
was pretty productive :)))))
left her place at around 6 and 153ed and 101ed home,
reached back at 7, HENGGGG my ahma never call my mum
if not i die, and my ahma will die also cause i'll drag her along to hell with me
HAHAHAH ok kidding

one paper down, idk how many more to go. ahhahaha.
k byebye xx

2011-04-28T21:00:00.002+08:00

i'm back, everyone :)
im finally back.

2011-04-25T18:53:00.004+08:00

sadly, im a mess
though things are going pretty well at home now
but still........
it's just me, okay. it's all in my head.
my head isnt really a good place to be in right now
"this is the price you pay for loss of control"
to be trapped in my own mind where i cant escape just....scares me
it scares me to death
i dont even feel real. i dont know what or why im feeling like that.
what the fuck are feelings anyway

it's too late to save me now

2011-04-17T22:07:00.002+08:00

and if this is how it has to be just promise you won't forget me

harro

it's been one week and a few days since i updated hahaha
i think im just gna update once a week
too lazy + my life has nothing interesting to update about
lol.

well, i guess things have been going great.....
lol. not say going great la,
much better, maybe? hahaha.
yep. much better. but i still cant get rid of my thoughts
told my mum about it and regretted cause she's being all counsel-y and stuff
hahaha oh well
everything will pass.
it will, right? yea. it will.....

anyway i met cara at plaza singapura today to catch a movie
never say never!!!!!1 justin bieber oh yea
went in and the cinema was so dead :(
not fun one. only cara and i were squealing and singing and dancing at the back.
lucky we sit at last row, if not ppl cfm throw popcorn at us
after that headed down to serangoon to buy glacious yum yum
went to clarke quay and walked around and all hahah
wanted to go to lau pa sat for dinner but we didnt know how to get there
so in the end we took a train down to kovan and ate the beef noodles there
it was awesome :) i love the barley drink there heheh
went to heartland mall to walk around and i bought muachee hehe
cara left after awhile and i went to buy some stuff and bubble tea from cupwalker!
saw giselle and her family at nyny :)
took 101 back and it was freezing :(
came back at 9+ and now it's 10+ and i havent packed my stuff and im exhausted
hahahhaha anyway it was good fun and nice quality time spent with cara :)

tomorrow is monday
another tiring week is coming up
byebye

2011-04-07T20:02:00.002+08:00

everything may not be perfect but at least we try

meow

today is thursday, tomorrow is friday,
then saturday then sunday
(lolz reminds me of rebecca black's song)
and my mum will be back from amsterdam
hahahahha. im so scared.
lolol. nvm. im sure i'll make it through, yes?
i will. i will be able to handle everything that is going to happen
i'll be able to smile my way through
i'll be able to hold on and not lose myself
hahahah. i will!!
who am i kidding. lol i wont. i fucking wont.

ANYWAY
lol school today was just... erm boring i guess
everyday is boring
im just rotting my life away
i fucking hate school. the only reason why i go to school is cause of my friends
and yet i feel like we're falling apart
haha. lol. idk. just sayin.
oh yes and i ran 2.4km for the napfa shit today
i passed fkyea hahaha so happy
dont have to run for another....... YEAR
LOL i hate running ok stfu im an obese lazy shit that doesnt do anything but rot
lololololololol IM A CAT OK
i think im insane lol
had quite alot of freedom this week as mum wasnt around in singapore
plus i didnt go to school on tuesday hahah
but my mum knows duhhhh pshhh cmonnn
cca tmr until like fucking 0730, want to die ah
madness -_-
then enrolment on saturday. wa cb im starting to hate cca
so fucking troublesome + draining + boring + idk what other things

i look in the mirror and see a stranger staring back at me
i dont know what i have become
i dont know me anymore. i want the old me back.

ok bye

2011-04-02T15:12:00.003+08:00

hi

updating this dead space after a billion years
loljk it's just a week

im tired. super tired. of everything.
history is repeating itself over and over again.
it's like my life is set on replay. yknow.
it didnt happen once, or twice. thrice already.
or even more. idk. so many times that i lost count.
my body and mind are so tired. im confused.
im trying. but what's the point of trying when no one gives a shit?
the world is fucked. society is shit.
everyone is wrecked. im a wreck.

lololoolololololololololololololollolool ok bye

2011-03-25T20:30:00.003+08:00

hi

today was sports day in pl yayyyy hhahahaahaha
damn proud of lee house
we were so awesome oh yeaaaaaa.
i love lee hse hehehehehhe
to infinity and beyond with your famiLEE! ♥

anyway i woke up at 0540am today ahhahaha so earlyyyyy
took 88 to twin's hse and bus-ed to school with her
reached just on time and joined the hse comm they all at the tennis board there
sprayed hair (green!!), tied ribbons to our heads and all
assembled in classes for assembly and all,
then jewel and i followed the sec 2s for their events and all
and we couldnt do anything cuz it's not our level :(
wanted to do a few stations lor, but cannot hhahaha so aiya nvm lor
aft everything,was damn exhausted hahahah
took 2 cups of milo and chermaine gave us a full cup oh yea :D
assembled in houses and all and had cheering competition YAY
lee hse gave their best and i think we were awesomeeee ttm
esp the dance girls. SO CUTE+S3XY+COOL HEHEH :D
had prize presentation for the events and all and lee won so many!!!1
screamed everytime a lee house girl won smth :D
SO PROUD OF EVERYONE T^T HAHAHAH
then had prize presentation for cheer, pri sch champion, sec schl champion and overall champion
LEE WON FIRST FOR CHEER AND SEC SCHL CHAMPION
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG scream until no breath sia
we scream and jump and scream and jump and went totally insane
HEHEHEH and we won SECOND for overall champion. fk yea.
chew won first place! no surprise. HAHAHAH.
but still, im super proud of lee house.
cause last time we always last or 3rd one lor!!
now we like shoot up alr!! OH YEA. HEHEH.
i love lee hse forever and ever and ever WOOHOOOOOOOO
HAHAHAHA. aft that went to outside staff rm with vanna jocelyn and mich to do chinese compo
bhuvanesh waited for us.
went to clarke quay and met brandi, alfreda and huijuan.
ate at vivo's pizza (huijuan's aunt's shop!) food was fantastic (y)
left halfway with huijuan.
took train with her all the way to serangoon and met serene
took circle line train and hj left aft one stop,
headed to bishan w serene and toured the whole of ntuc LOL
went to her hse and er omg i hv erm....nothing to say abt her room........ LOL
aft awhile,took 153 to hougang interchange there and missed 101 -_-
decided to walk home and i took 20 minutes to walk home
heheheh it was nice :) maybe i should start walking home from.....KOVAN next time
HAHAHAHAH or maybe from school. LOLOLOL. madness.
reached home at arnd 0730 and immediately received a call from mum
she scolded me for reaching home at 0730.......
she said she'll talk to me when she gets back.
here we go again....
she will definitely mention about that

bye

2011-03-21T21:32:00.002+08:00

harro

so cute right the cats on top hahahahahahaa
i think right..........
next time when i grow old
i'll be some single woman that has like 8 cats and does sewing everyday on a rocking chair
then my sister's kids will visit me and play with my cats
and i'll sew for them clothes and all
you think so..?????? i'll be like those cat loving old single woman
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA #justsayin

anyway today was the first day of term 2
kinda started off term 2 suckishly......
or rather sleepily lololololololol
cause right sunday afternoon i slept for like three hours
then at night i cannot sleep lor
i went to bed at like 1130 and i fell asleep only at 0215 hahahahah
and somemore my "fell asleep" is like only half sleeping lor
i close my eyes, then it felt like half an hour later my alarm rang
when my alarm actually rang at like 0555!
so it felt as if i slept for half an hour only. lolololol.
hahahahah anyway got up and left for school,
had contact time and all blah blah
english was like a slack lesson hahahha just watched vids about japan only.
then had recess, nothing much.
THERE WAS NO SOYA BEAN OMG sadkid96
next was literature i think
it was so draining ohmaigah i couldnt absorb anything
i was so fkin tired i wanted to lie on the floor and sleep HAHAHAH
math next,we have a new teacher!
the teacher equally sucky as my prev teacher lololol
it felt like a free period la seriously haha i didnt listen at all oops
i depend on my tuition lor hahahha. ok anywayyyyyyyyyyy
next was pe, didnt take pe lol. timed for the people that were running.
lunch, shared the jap rice thingy with alfreda hehe
went up earlier abit to go find twin and wr and talk talk in their class,
biology next. abit tiring. haha. talked to hannah.
aft that had house meeting.
my throat like damn pain now only lor hahah scream like mad
went for dinner w mama uncle aziz and cherie at compass point
had swensens oh yeaaaa. went to popular then went back.
sent twin back and came back. bathed and here i am.

going for breakfast tmr with twin and shining.
ok haha i think i'll sleep earlier abit tonight.
damn tired rahhhhhhhhhhhh
ok byebye.

2011-03-15T21:53:00.002+08:00

Game over

hi

i just came back today from camp :D
overall it was pretty ok!
had fun, definitely.
thanks to the awesomest camp committee ever :D
love you girls. you all did an awesome job :)

first day was sunday.
woke up at 0630 and went for macs breakfast w mummy and uncle aziz
went to school, "checked-in", had games, devotion and all
bathing was pretty okay.
i washed my hair outside with my head down haha
i looked like a ghost LOL.
was one of the last few to bathe,
i bathed damn fast ok woohoo of course, cause im superwoman :D DUDUDUDUDUDU ~~
ok anyway LOL. the food like abit too much haha but it was alright :)
at night had the who did it came, like cluedo like that
jolene and dominique went home cause they werent feeling well
walao. pangseh only. haha.
kidding. hope they're feeling better :)))
regina also went home to rush her coursework or smth lol
didnt get the correct answer for the cluedo game but it's ok :D
area cleaning, then slept.
omg i couldnt really sleep cause i was damn scared.
there was some creaking sound every 10 seconds omgggg it was damn scary la ok
and the lift also. the lift door open then got some beep beep beep sound and its damn dark
and shannon also!!! WALAO she irritating ttm only LOL
she tell me scary things :(((( ok nvm IT'S OVER. HHAHA

second day, woke up at 0730 and went to get ready and all
f&n girls (MEEE) had a learning journey to attend so we ate breakfast first WOOHOO
left the school at 0945 and went to jurong there (OMG)
long bus journey hahaha butt pain :(
went to chef's culture and cooked and all haha
the food damn nice ;) hehe.
then went to science centre to learn how to make ice cream
eh our ice cream very nice :D hehe
walked around science centre with claudia, rachel and jocelyn too:)
went back to school at around 5 plus and joined my group
played a captain's ball match AND GUESS WHO WON??????
MY GROUP HAHAHHAHAHAHA omg we damn happy only. HAHAHA.
aft that was dinner. ate and then went to bathe.
same thing. washed hair outside then was the second last to bathe haha.
had some kidnapping game and natalie was kidnapped :(
played games and had clues and we had to guess where they kept her
we got it correct: ava room. HEHE. cuz we r smart like that. HAHAHA.
aft that i think was area cleaning then sleep. haha.
i slept at like 1am cause clarice kept making me laugh like shit
omg laugh until i bang my head on the floor sia
HAHAHAH. damn funny. then she observed me when i sleep WTF
what's up with people observing me when sleeping ah seriously HAHAHA

third day woke up at 0730 again.
packed stuff and all.
went down for quiet time and devotion then area cleaning.
cleaned up the dorm and all hahaa
next was photo taking and evaluation all that
after that we were dismissed YAYYYYYYYY
christine's dad sent me home :)
came home, bathed then left for junction 8 to meet serene for lunch + study
ate yoshinoya then went to the library
found a container(LOL isit called a container? aiya dk la LOL) and sat down
AND IM PROUD TO SAY THAT I DID MY WORK (YAYYY)
LOL. but after awhile i felt like sleeping. hahaha ya.
left there at abt idk what time and went to macs for dinner
i didnt eat, just watched her eat haha.
aft that walked arnd, sat at some step and i almost fell asleep lol wtf ahahhaha
then walked arnd more and left at 9.
then im home and hi HAHAHAH ok

i think im gna sleep abit earlier tonight
and i'll sleep for 15 hours or smth. LOL.
ok byebye hahahaah.

2011-03-11T16:41:00.002+08:00

It's enough, I've done all I can think of..

hi.

im kinda sleepy right now but i shall blog hahahaah
im just blogging for the sake of blogging lah k haha
well..... school holidays started alr
im having camp on sunday - tuesday
so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. lol.
im so tired idk what to blog about. hahaha okok today today!

woke up at 0530 omfg haha yea made the sausages and all
it was freezing like mad omg i almost turned into a block of ice hahahah
went to school pretty early
i think i reached at 7. i slept until 745 like that haha
i didnt really sleep though. i was half asleep hahah.
went down to meet the rest,then left for charleton park
the first part of the outing sucked :/ was totally ruined
but after that when everyone started eating and all it was ok alr :)
played games hahah omg damn funny
laugh until cheeks stomach throat pain haha
play like siao then went back to school
collected back report book. haha yay i only failed 1 subject.
what else but chinese? haha i hate chinese.
miss kok said i had to buck up on chinese. lol.
sorwee i really have no interest. but i hope one day i can see my report slip got no underlines HAHAH means no fail la. ya. hahah.
but impossible la my chinese so kanasai. hahhaah.
aft that went to nex with michelle and cara.
walked around with cara then cara left.
ate yoshinoya (only i ate) and michelle watched me hahaha
saw bhuvanesh claudia and jenny and joined them.
walked around lor. didnt do much haha.
went to try out glacious yoghurt :) nice! haha.
but like the same as all the other frozen yoghurts lolol.
aft that took 147 home, bathed and here i am :)

ok so many earthquakes just happened
i think the world is going to end.
i cant wait.
HAHA im mad.
ok pray for the entire world

goodbye

2011-03-07T23:05:00.010+08:00

I keep forgetting to forget you

hihihihihihihihihihihihihihi

omg wtf it's alr 1107 LOL i didnt know..
i thought it was like only 1030 or smth HAHAH
ok im lagging HAHA

ok bintan trip was okay hahaha
went with giselle. took a ferry there.
the beach was BEAUTIFULLLLLL damn awesome hahahah
did some shitty pedicure and i fell asleep while she was doing my nails
i think my toe twitched or smth HAHAHAHAH omg funny
ok anyway HAHAH had dinner, it was disappointing. so tasteless lor the food.
hahha slept quite early and woke up late LOL
i think i had 10 hours of sleep OH YEAH HAHAHA nice
squeezed in the bed w my sis and giselle ahhaha the bed damn small lor
second day, drived the buggy around w giselle and my sis
damn funny HAHAHAHHA
reached singapore at around 6? haha yep.

giselle: omg so gootchi!!(itchy) (sound like gucci)
me: no, so hugo hugo.
HAHAHAHAHHA FUNNY NOT? LOLOLLL I think very funny leh
HAHAHAHA ok *slap myself*

school today wasnt that bad.
time passed pretty quick hahaha.
went to parliament house after school for learning journey
was abit boring.... almost fell asleep hahahah
but the bus ride there was fun cause mr g kept joking arnd
he abit irritating lor he damn mean hHAHAHA
then took picture with his iphone and set it as his lock and home screen wallpaper HAHAH
we are da best (y) woohoo LOL.
went to opp mama shop with twin geena and cara
ate apple sourz OH YEAHHHHHH so long never eat alr!! hehe.
mummy came and sent cherie home,
went to hgm to walk walk around then came home.
ate dinner and watched princess protection program HEHEHEHHE
bathed and here i am :D

ok tmr is tuesday... which means school starts late!! :D
going for breakfast with serene tmr ~
but there's morning jog :(( sian...............

I WANT TO BE A PRINCESS
LOL JUST SAYING HAHA K THANKS BYE

2011-03-02T18:08:00.002+08:00

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human's way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

HI

IM GONNA WATCH TITANIC SOON ^
i swear i am HAHAHAHHA
shut up. yes i havent watch before. LOL.
my sister is currently downloading it
AND WE SHALL WATCH AND CRY TOGETHER
HAHAAHHAH ok good plan yes? :P

OK SHORT POST NOW.
i have nothing to blog about + im gna go eat dinner soon
today was fine. lessons passed quite fast
got back literature paper. i got 56/100 :(
pass lah, but i was expecting a b4 or higher
disappointed in myself.
SIGH. nevermind. i shall learn from this term and work harder next term :D
so far my results not bad hahaha.
aft school had cca. didnt bring attire+boots so had to run two rounds lol wtf
took stage 2 contingent and blah blah blah
went home at arnd 315, gave a 113 a miss and took the next one
reached home at idk what time
bathed and here i am hahaha.

tmr is thursday. thursday is boring. but thursday means friday is coming.
friday is coming means weekends are near.
weekends are near means im a day closer to bintan trip yayyy
i can finally run away from everything (for two days)
lolololololololol ok tmr have nasi briyani HAHAHAHAHA
im going to school only for nasi briyani!!!
yes!!! HEHEHEHE.

okkokokokokokok byebyebyebye

2011-02-25T23:13:00.002+08:00

Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

hello :))

short post now.
im very tired. ahhahaha. i wna sleep soon.
it's fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
finally hahaha this week felt like a year.
ok that's just exaggerating. LOL.
i need a new fb profile picture man. seriously.
im sick of my current one. which is my blog one also.
ahhh i need to take pictures!!!
HAHAHA. anywayyy my mum only allow me to go out five times until term 2 starts
thats just three weeks, can survive right??????
HAHA. i alr reserved three.
one for hippies/mcgjj, one for my 13memberedclique, and one for shining.
i have two more.
anyone wna book me? HAHAHAHAHHA

okay anyway went to school as usual today
most of the lessons were pretty okay except for math
i was damn pissed with the teacher.
fucking hate her. zz. i was damn sleepy during math too
after school had cca
was boring hahahah didnt have badgework
did some discussions instead
so sian..............................................
had drill too. so tiring :( drain my energy only
anyway tmr maybe going to daddy's place
i very lazy sia. so leychey. have to pack everything and all
sighhhhhhhh
and i have tuition tmr too. i think. lol.
omg life sucks man seriously hahahahh

ok i have nothing to post alr
oh ya i cut back to side fringe. just only haaha.
but abit fail. i cut too early.
too short to make to side fringe alr. now i look weird
LOL so pls people pray for my fringe to grow faster
pls and thanks :D muahahhahaha
presenting..... my side fringe. hahahhahahahahaha
i miss my old hair so much :(((((

ok byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye

2011-02-22T07:05:00.002+08:00

I give up. Really.

meow. hello.

it's 0705am in the morning and im up early to study
actually... i didnt really study HHAHAHA
i switched on the computer and BAM here i am HAHAHHA
okay after this post im going to switch it off and study okokokokok.
i woke up at 0615 leh! hahahaha.
school starts at 9 today so its awesome :D
last paper today!!! f&n!
i love you f&n pls love me too and be easy.
HAHAHAHA ok no i dont love f&n

yesterday had chemistry paper.
wasnt THAT bad,i dont think i will fail THAT badly.
but i think i will still fail. HAHAHAH oh well.
geog i know is confirm fail. if i passed, it'll be a miracle.
yesterday aft school stayed back with grace, cara, ruying, bob and jocelyn to study
fkyea managed to rmb most of the things for f&n :)
left the schl at arnd 0540 and went to opp busstop w cara
took 62 with her and she followed me to hougang mall!!
hehe so nice. met mummy at hougang mall and went to eat sushi
OH YEAH HAHAHAH awesome. i love sushi.
went to cotton on to window shop. WAITING FOR SALE.......
HAHAHAHAHA. mum bought her aunty clothes HAHA
went back pretty early.
around 8! cause i was super tired hahha.
slept at 0930 like that and woke up at 0615!
okay so here i am. hahahhaha.

i have nothing else to say.
bye.

2011-02-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

I've been fighting for too long

2011-02-14T21:21:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines Day ♥

hello :))

today is 14feb which is valentines day!
and bianca's birthday :D happy birthday ~~
i gtg study soon
geog paper tmr........ i rlly need to buck up man.
i didnt listen in geog class at all, because i hate my teacher
not that i hate the subject. i just hate my teacher. lol.
so i need to self study!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhh im dead. im so dead.

anyway today went to school and had english test ~~
nothing much hahhaha as usual.... i was the first to finish
slept a good 20 minutes :D hehehe.
i received so many flowers leh!!!
4 real flowers, 2 fake, a bag of sweets, lollipops, chocolates etc etc
i feel so loved hehehe
i didnt buy anything for anyone though...... oopsie
HAHAHAH oh well. i have too many people to buy for :p
next year maybe i'll buy!! :D
lessons was boring...... skip skip skip skip skip
aft school serene came over to my place ~~
she went crazy in the bus hahahahah
study plan failed. as usual. second time alr LOL.
she studied abit though, i didnt study at all
i was lying on the bed trying to sleep HAHAHAHA she kept poking me!!!
but guess what...........
we ended up falling asleep HAHAHAHHA for like half an hour
0630 to 0700, woke up and she tried studying abit (but fail lololololol)
she left at 0750 like that ~~
ate dinner and watched abit of tv and here i am :D

ok im gna study soon.
tonight chnnl 5 got titanic :(
i wna watchhh. but it's like 10pm to 2am LOLOLOL
siao. so im maybe gna download it and watch it during my free time
hahaha i cant wait for aft CTs to enddddd

ok byebyebyebyebye

2011-02-11T20:39:00.002+08:00

A monster living inside me

harro

im exhausted
this week is simple e x h a u s t i n g
lol. thank god it's friday haha.
my period just came today. sucks.
i hate having menses.
mood swings + pimples + cramps + uncomfortable
irritating much hahahah

today is friday.
what did i do today? hahaha. oh ya.
yesterday i slept at 0830pm and i woke up at 0445am haha
to study!!! hahahah.
went to school and had first common test paper ~~
social studies. didnt write ALOT. i think can pass. but not high marks haha.
maybe just pass or smth idk.
recess aft that, nothing much also haha
ss next,then pe. didnt take pe. haha.
math sucked. i hate my teacher.
i dont hate the subject. i just hate my teacher. haha.
lunch next,bob smacked me until damn pain :'(
and i screamed damn loud HAHHAHAAH
briefing on OCIP aft that. can choose to go china malaysia or cambodia
im so going to malaysia hahahahha
im lazy to take aeroplane and all these lah ok
bus so easy hahahaha
going with alfreda and hannah maybe heheheh
i dont rlly wna go though.... :(
aft that had chinese. that's when everything started haha.
i felt super.......................... depressed then hahah
moodswing maybe.
cca next. nothing much hahah.
boring. cabbed home with joey yay hahha :)
came home and ate dinner and here i am

ok im exhausted. tuition tmr and on sunday..
sigh............
GOODBYE

2011-02-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

LURB LURB

ni hao

GONG XI FA CAI HONG BAO NA LAI MEI YOU HONG BAO MING TIAN ZAI LAI
ok kidding HAHHAHAHAHAHA
MY CHINESE NEW YEAR.... was 50 50.
kinda sucked. kinda rocked.
i had to take care of my sister for the entire cny though,
she was sick bcx of SS3 HAHAHAHAHh
i was her personal nurse or whatever lol.
im suppose to be studying now but i distracted abit HAHAHH
COME HERE BLOG WOOO~~
ok okokokokokok anyway ABOUT TOADYYYYYYYYYYYY

it was a very full day hahahhahahahahahh
full as in TUMMY FULL HAHAHAH
woke up at 1145 like that i think.......
brandi came first,followed by alfreda then vanna cara and jocelyn
then i think is geena?
yup. then michelle serene and wanrong came.
HAHAHA but vanna cara and geena left alr. so very confusing.
we watched i not stupid 2.
HAHAHAHHA IT'S MY 200 MILLIONTH TIME WATCHING IT
and its still damn funny + sad.
I LOVE THAT SHOW HAHHAHA. forever 21 LOL damn funny.
ok anyway HAHAHAH we left for hougang plaza and went to meet hannah
she damn idiot HAHAHAHAH everywhere also get lost!!!
anyway erm went to nihon mura and had sushi buffet HEHEHEHEH
there were 8 of us, so we had to split to 6 and 2 :(
so i sat with serene on another table,but it's beside each other!
only the conveyer belt thingy seperating us HHAHAHA
serene and i went mad HAHAHAH we ordered 8 plates of salmon sashimi HAHAHAHAH
but when it came it didnt look like alot!!! but it felt like alot.
EH, 8 x 6 is 48. but the plate doesnt look like it had 48 there!!
BUT IT DEFINITELY FELT LIKE 100 PIECES HAHAHHAHA
eat until wna vomit sia LOLOL.
she ordered some stupid salmon skin that both of us dk what isit HAHAHAHAH
we ended up crushing it inside the wet tissue packet LOL
eat until cannot eat alr,then went off ~~
wanrong michelle brandi alfreda went to town, jocelyn went to some busstop and serene and i went to the bus interchange there ~
siao eh they all, still wna go town dk do what HAHAHA
parted ways(LOLOL) and i took 101 back.
pretty quick journey back hahhaha i like.
came back and bathed. OK IM GNA STUDY NOW HAHHAHA

ZAI JIAN

2011-02-01T17:29:00.002+08:00

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?

i found out a problem about me
just recently only hahhaha
i found out that.... i have difficulties
i have difficulties opening up to anyone about me.
about my life. about my problems.
whenever im feeling so damn down or sad,i cant talk to anyone about it
people will always be saying they will listen or they will be here for me
but i just cant
i cant say it. i cant.
i will always type everything down. then erase everything.
i just cant tell people.
so what do i do? i just say im fine and it's ok.
haha. i just cant. im sorry.
i dont know why either. i keep everything to myself.
i want to tell someone so badly,but i. just. cant.
there was once, something happened. so many texts flooded in,
on twitter, so many replies were sent to me.
i wanted to tell someone so badly what was happened,
but i just typed everything down, and i couldnt press send.
im sucha loser. i cant do such a simple thing like tell people about my problems.
even when people say they are going to listen,
i just have this fear... that they wont listen. they will think it's sucha small thing,why am i making sucha big fuss out of it? ......... lol.
though it's small to you, but its big to me. im so affected by it.
please, i need someone to tell me that they care. and will listen. truthfully.
but im scared that i wont be able to tell the person once she/he wants to listen.
im scared. IM SUCH A FREAK. oh my god.
i keep so many things to myself... i feel like im gonna explode.
haha. i know im weird.
goodness

(ps, i typed this whole thing down, highlighted everything and almost pressed delete. i stared at this screen for awhile, and decided, i need someone to know.)

2011-01-29T12:11:00.002+08:00

What if the world was just a big disappointment?

harro

im here to blog hahahah
bcx i have nothing to do.
im having tuition in 1hr45minutes
yucks. idw sia.
math -_- zzzzz hahaha and it's only my 2nd session in 2011
oh wellllllllllllllllll

anyway tmr im going for the PLCMC concert with twin hannah and charity :D
excited hahahah!
next sunday maybe going for steamboat with everyone too yay!
hope mama can allow hahah havent ask her yet
oh oh oh and tonight is SS3 concert :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
everyone HAVE FUN!!!
take picture of yesung kyuhyun donghae teukie eunhyuk for me
HHAHAHAHAHAHA :D

anyway yesterday had cca ~~ cny celebration!
spent most of the time with alicia and jolene :)
i hate the yusheng :( damn gross zzzzzzz
but damn funny HAHAHAHAH
"ANGMOR BOYFRIEND. ANGMOR BABY. A1. MANSION. SPORTS CAR. MONEY."
HAHAHHAHAHA damn funny omg laugh until stomach pain.
buffet was pretty okay hahhahaha.
took pictures with gbclique2010-2012 and hippie gang!! hehe.
lurb them~~
made a hippie handshake also HHAHAHA
me and cherie make one leh!! HAHA
not bad ok :p
bus-ed home with joey and reached home at 9pm what the hell :(
first time i reach home so late from school zzz

ok errrrrrrrrm what else did i wanna blog AHAAHAHA
i think nothing alr la hahhahaah
cant rmb.
oh well

BYE. click on my nuffs pls!

2011-01-25T21:21:00.000+08:00

omigod i have bangs

2011-01-23T13:12:00.003+08:00

Nothing can replace the memory when you and I were perfect

harro

quick post now,
im having tuition in like errrrrrrr 18 minutes hahaha
chinese.
ytd had math. tmr math again -_-
sian ttm.
and i have sore throat wtf :(
came out of nowhere. and runny nose.

ytd went shopping @ hgm with mummy ahahaha cotton on la
bought two tops and a denim shorts :D
yay ehhehhe. my mum kept asking me to buy a dress -_-
i dont wear dresses!! HAHAHHA
anyway errrrrrrrrrrrrm
later we are going to see a condo for fun hahah
maybe buying maybe not
so maybe im gna shift to a condo or smth
dk yet la hahahah havent confirm
anyway school is tiring. draining my energy man seriously.
so much homework,so many things to study
f&n and biology so much things to remember
ok not only those two lah,so many more
aahahaaha. sian. sec 3 life is tough man.
i damn scared for o lvls somemore :/ zzzzzzzzzzzzz

alot of tests are coming up this coming week
scared hahhaaha i nvr study ._.
sian. I HAVE NO TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
had cca on friday also, play games only ahahahah
scream like mad with hippies and monkeys x_x
maybe thats why my throat pain. but now then pain???
LOL weird. hahhaha whatever la.
ok i have nothing else to blog about
pls click on my nuffies

byebye xx

2011-01-19T19:36:00.002+08:00

What can tomorrow bring if I'm losing you today?

hihi

im getting lazy to blog nowadays hahahah
im a busy kid. really.
sec 3 life is so tiring omg
homework everyday. can die sia.
and i this week everyday after 6pm then go home.
wahlao sian...........
and it's only 19jan
i want december. lololololololol.

anyway today went to school,
english lesson was fine, followed by social studies.
passed pretty quick.
literature next. spent the whole time going thru CCM and writing in my book
my book is fkin messy now hahaa
recess next, sat on the floor hahahh bcx canteen was bloody crowded
biology next, borrowed testtubes for nothing -_-
ite also never use.
stayed in class for silent reading then went for lunch
my class didnt go for chapel hahah bcx aft that we going science centre
went to science centre and did the csi exhibition thingy
was pretty alright.
finished early and went to mama shop with celine bhuvanesh leyun jocelyn and alfreda
talked and laughed like mad hahahah
left and came back.
bathed and here i am.

im mad tired...... going to sleep earlier tonight.
sigh

2011-01-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

Does it feel alive to be dead?

harro

it's been a week since i blogged hahahah
i'm just really really lazy and i have no time lah okay
i've been staying back almost everyday ever since school started okay
ytd i stayed in schl until 0630 leh
then cca today i stay until 0600
then wednesday i stay until 0300 but i went to mama shop until 0500
LOLOL im a busy woman ok!!

four events im looking forward to:
1) tmr!!! vivo with jewel and cherie :D watching the ghosts must be crazy muahahhaha. then having buffet thingy again ^^ FREE FOOD HAHHAHA
2) next thursday! going sushi buffet with the three generations cliques HEHEH more than 10 of us are going :D omg excited!
3) PLCMC concert next next sunday! going with charity and hannah :)
4) chinese new year? i just want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$

anyway i didnt do a proper post in a very long time hahhaha
things have changed man! it's 2011!
im so busy busy busy like a bee LOL wth
ytd stayed back with bhuvanesh vanna michelle brandi and jocelyn to do up the class
was pretty fun but tiring hahaha. we stained the floor with red paint D:
while cleaning it up it looked like a murder scene HHAHAH
today i had cca after school,
was pretty okay,except for the fact that i was left all alone during drill bcx my clique all in drill competition HHAHAHA walao
anyway i did drill with the stage 3 peeps yay hahahah
we ended at 0530 bcx the tchers got some meeting i think
then went to mama shop with the hippies and mama came
sent cherie home then came back
ate and watched little mermaid with my maid HAHAHAHHA
watch merMAID with MAID HAHAHAHA ok whatever
anyway im eggcited for tmr
yay hheheheheh okie buaiz

oh and im nt doing the 30 day thing alr
lazy.removed it! HAHAHHAHA
GDBYE

2011-01-07T20:06:00.001+08:00

2010 was a year full of regrets

[edit@1038pm]
i shall elaborate on that lol.
why?
bcx i rlly did alot of things that i regretted
and only now, i regret.
i just got to reflect, like truely say out or count or whatever how many wrong things i've done.
in school, outside, whatever.
i feel like i've wasted my 2010.
i really got into quite alot of trouble in 2010.
first, i had the sec 2 camp thing where i didnt inform miss kok that my mum was gna fetch me. marked down? i think so.
then, during syf, i somehow didnt behave properly. marked down.
also, i got my first ever demerit points in my entire life. not only one. five. marked down.
took the PL lift and got stuck in the lift for abt 30 minutes. didnt get any punishment though. im lucky this time.
my school work, results, behaviour in class all these? bad. marked down.
attitude? bad. marked down.
miss heng even talked to me about my attitude and behaviour three times in the year.
then those outside school?
my mum found a pack in my bag. disappointed her.
she found out i was still using vulgar language. disappointed her.
im sure there are like alot more. just tht i cant think of much now.
sigh.
i hope 2011 will be a trouble-less year. please.

had cca fair today. stayed in school for THIRTEEN 13 hours
but cca fair was a blast.
went arnd with my monkeys hand in hand screaming JOIN GB!!!!
was fun but tiring :)
performances were scary. so many people were staring.
giselle was laughing at me somemore.
and i made a tiny mistake on stage also.
was damn nervous lah kay hahahha.
left at arnd 8pm and daddy fetched cherie home.
went to compass point with him and ate at swensens yay hahah
aft that he sent me back and sent me up :)
bathed and here i am.
gna sleep soon. so bloody tired.
my eyebags are x10 worse now.

gdbye

2011-01-03T16:03:00.004+08:00

It's 2011

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sooooooooooooooooooooooo
it's a new year
no more 2010
im not ready for 2011........................
crap

SECONDARY THREEEEEEEEEE oh wow

new years resolution??? didnt really think of it. came up with some just now:

NUMBER 1: lose weight. WOOHOO. definitely. i must must must MUST!!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY.

NUMBER 2: grow taller pls. i never grow at all from last year to this year. I SHRINKED. is there even such thing?????????

NUMBER 3: study. i need to do well for 2011 man. im one year closer to Os. 2010 my results were really bad. i need to buck up!!! I HOPE I CAN HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO SIT DOWN AND STUDY AT LEAST 7 TIMES A WEEK

NUMBER 4: grow my hair long long. UNTIL REACH MY ASS. PLS.

NUMBER 5: cut down on usage of computer and tv. I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF MY EYES IDW TO WEAR SPECS PLS

NUMBER 6: save up lots and lots and lots of money baby. then return to my mama.

NUMBER 7: behave myself in school. dont get into so much trouble. 2010 WAS A YEAR OF TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE ONLY.

NUMBER 8: be more courageous/confident. i need to do things in order to make it better.

NUMBER 9: cut down on vulgarities MUAHAHAHAHAH

YUP THAT'S IT :) hope i can do it... i dont think i can do number 5. and 2, 9, 4 and 1. and 3, 8. oh oh and 6 and 7. HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

0k. hope that 2011 will be a great year for all of you. and me. :) GOODBYE.

2010-12-30T14:50:00.002+08:00

my fav tour group ♥

hello :)

quick post now.
leaving for chalet soon!
ysterday was one of the best days ever!! :D
i had my first ever real surprise
HAHHAHA i know pathetic right. but yea!!
happy hapy *v*

ytd woke up at 1pm,
i slacked and used comp, watched tv and updated myself on everything
left the hse at 0700pm oops and headed down to dhoby gauht (sp?)
met sissy there and we walked to Strictly Pancakes.
see, the plan was my sis and i go for my birthday dinner
and it was suppose to be just the two of us
but when i walked up the stairs and turned,
suddenly got like 8 ppl staring at me and shouting SURPRISE!!!!!!
yay heheheh im so happy :D
i was super shocked and totally fell for it. i didnt expect it at all!
ordered pancakes and all,
i told my sister just order anything for me bcx i didnt know anything there and i was too shocked to choose what to eat HAHHAHA
so they ordered. my food was the last to come!!!
yknow why??? they got a pancake cake for me!!!
got candles on top leh!! it said "you're old"
walao HAHHAHAHA. oh and i received present from olivia brenda chester and roderick too :D
played monopoly deal and heart attack HAHAHH we made so much noise
the woman told us to quieten down so we left and sat outside SOTA
played indian poker and the forfeits were super funny :D
play play play until abt 1030 and left,
train-ed and bus-ed home with sissy :)
came back at 1130 like that and bathed and uploaded everything and slept.

today woke up and went to school.
met twinny first :)
had stage 3 drill test with geena!
we both passed :) phew!
i went home aft that, they had drill comp training!
poor thing :( HHAHA.

okay im gna go chalet from today until 2jan :)
i think there's internet there...
but idk whether i'll blog.
follow my twitter for updates :)

alrighty, byebye! :)

2010-12-29T17:25:00.004+08:00

i look like the horse?

I WILL BLOG ABOUT MY MALAYSIA TRIP SOON, I PROMISE!

maybe next year.... when i have the time!!!
im mad busy now. LOL.
i just came back from malaysia ytd night and went to bed immediately.
woke up at 1pm today and updated myself with shitloads of things
now i have to get ready to go out!!
meeting sister at plaza sing at 0645pm and i havent even bathe!!
AHHHHHHH!!
then come back i have to pack for my chalet
tmr i have drill at 0830 and idk what time it ends
aft that i have to go to the chalet. oh ya and i have to confirm who's coming or not also!
only a few replied my text! tsk!!!!
then i staying there until 2jan and IDK HAHAHHAAH
ok i will blog next year. BYE. HAHAHAHA.

psstttt my birthday's coming. LOL

OK SAYONARA
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[EDIT @ 0533PM]
ok nvm i just received a text from my sis asking me to meet her at 0720 -_-
so i shall blog abt my m'sia trip now!!! :D

25december2010(day 1):
woke up at 10am? yea.
journey there was bad. my butt hurt like siao.
and i was sitting at the sun side. so it was bloody hot.

checked in at 4pm and lazed arnd.

we stayed at the 13th floor!! HAHHAA. scary.
and our room number was 1331 somemore!
but nothing happened la :) hehehehe.
oh and we stayed at A' Famosa resort :) it's awesome!
but the service abit sucky.
went to 'cowboy town'.

caught a 4d show.

haunted house. not bad. abit scary but was okay hahha.

aft that there was some musical parade thing.
cinderella. lol. i was sitting at the side so it was boring. cldnt see a thing except for this carriage thingy infront of us lol.

next was a red indian show. woah, it was the best! :D totally. haha.
went to have dinner @ some sucky place then went to watch magic show :D
aft that went to some small town in malacca there or smth idk whr la LOL
bought things from 7eleven then went back.
drawed in rina's diary HHAHAH damn funny :p
slept at 0230am ~~

26december2010(day 2!):

i woke up the earliest! 8am. hahahah.
bathed then woke the rest up and got ready. went for a breakfast buffet. not bad hahaha. it wasnt THAT nice :/ haha. went into animal world safari and was awesome!
we caught 4 shows: multi animal show, bird show, wild wild west, elephant show
they were all awesome!!
the multi animal show got cat one sia! my first time seeing an animal show inside got cat one :p
heheh they were so cuteeeeee.
sat on an elephant w rina and ain hahaha. bumpy!
fed a shitload of animals also. so many. i think we spent most of our money on animal feed LOL
we fed:
monkeys

elephant

sheep

horse(picture on top!)

deer

chicks

rabbits

goat

OH AND I HELD A PYTHON FOR THE FIRST FRICKIN TIME!!!
know what's a python not?!?!?!
this is a python!!!!!!!!
and this is me holding the python!!
it was super awesome heheheheh so happy :D
aft that we went to play paintball shooting and archery.
super fun :D then went for gokart!
only 16 and above can drive,but i wanted to drive
so we bluff them lor. they believe hhehehe. so i drove!!
SIBEH FUN OMG. its not your typical nice nice looking gokart car thingy
it's rlly like damn idk how to say HHAHAHAHAHAH
then the road is not built one, is like soil and mud
so the mud will sometimes splatter on you LOL.
but it was super fun :D ehehehee.
went back and bathed and all and went to the small town again. ate at kfc. yum. came back and danced with rina LOL. played pictureka then went to sleep at 1240am :)

27december2010(day 3!):
woke up at 10am. uncle aziz kept irritating us!! hahhaa. ite got up at 1030am and ate breakfast. left for waterworld. rina didnt join us bcx she wasnt feeling well!
it was awesome!! i had an underwater camera(use film one la :p) so we brought it along
havent develop yet. develop alrdy then i upload ok!!
the rides are damn fun ok :p
i lazy explain alrdy la ~~ HAHAHAHAH. must have pics then can explain!
left at 0430 and went back and bathed.
left for malacca town. shopped and ate at kenny rogers!
best food ever!!!
went to shop shop and i bought two pairs of shoes :D YAY
micaela happy. HAHHAHA. fucking gladiators bitch!! HAHAHAH.
went back and did mask LOL then went to sleep!

28december2010(day 4!):
woke up at 1030am and packed and all and left. checked out at 12pm.
left for jb and shopped and ate :)
went to city square mall and to the innercity there
fk. got one shop the staff or whatever. SIBEI FKIN CUTE.
cute like siao only.
and he served us bcx rina wanted to buy a pair of jeans. omg.
he rlly damn cute wtf.
OK ANYWAY HAHHAHAHAHAHA
went to eat at seoul garden and buy stuffs and went back.
rched home at 0945pm like that :)

OK BYEBYE!!!

2010-12-22T14:10:00.002+08:00

because i'm lazy to blog

STATE YOUR FAVORITE SONG AND VIDEO

Super Junior:
Song: Why I Like You (3rd album!!)
Video: No Other (definitely)

DBSK:
Song: -
Video: -

ZE:A:
Song: -
Video: -

Big Bang:
Song: -
Video: -

SHINee:
Song: Hello
Video: Hello
(HAHAHAHAH both Hello :D)

2pm:
Song: I'll Be Back
Video: Heartbeat

FTIsland:
Song: Love Love Love
Video: I Hope

CNBLUE:
Song: Love Light
Video: - (i didnt rly watch the mv:/)

BEAST:
Song: Breathe
Video: - (i didnt watch their mvs too,i only watched live performances. but if i had to choose between the performances i'd choose Breathe :D)

MBLAQ:
Song: One Better Day
video: Y

FCUZ:
Song: -
Video: -

Infinite:
Song: Come Back Again
Video: -

SS501:
Song: Love Like This
Video: -

2AM:
Song: You Wouldn't Answer My Calls
Video: I Did Wrong

UKiss:
Song: Be Quiet
Video: Bingeul Bingeul

D-NA:
Song: -
Video: -

Wonder Girls:
Song: Take It
Video: -

Girl’s Generation:
Song: Hoot
Video: Genie

KARA:
Song: Jumping
Video: -

2NE1:
Song: Go Away
Video: -

f(x):
Song: Nu ABO
Video: Nu ABO

kinda fun hahahaha.
got it from super-kpop

i broke my personal record! i spent 24 hours awake :) yes. i didnt sleep at all last night. i stayed up until 4am, then i went to bed. kept tossing and turning until 5am. realised i wasnt sleepy at all, so i read a 'book' (app) on my itouch all the way until 7plus am. decided i wasnt gna sleep bcx i rlly wasnt sleepy. so i got up and used comp hahaha. im going to sleep now though. tired. i'll wake up at 5pm for invincible youth :) then tnight i will sleep early (after catching fugitive plan b on kbs which will end arnd 10:10) and tmr wake up late. hahhaha. i wonder how long i will sleep. :p quite fun hehe. but my eyebags look horrible now. x10 worse TT^TT

sorry but im really lazy to blog :p hehe
byebye. plz click on my nuffs.
many many love love lub lub luv luv lurv lurbv ok i will stop here

Day 19 - someone that pesters your mind—good or bad.
asshole, i miss you

2010-12-18T12:36:00.003+08:00

This moment will just be another story some day.

hello :)

well,i have nothing much to update :/
the past few days i've been staying at home doing nothing hahah
i played with my nails yesterday
blue background and white polkadots
i like the left index finger's the most
HAHAHAHA.
im blogging now cz im waiting for my show to load
im currently watching fugitive plan b :D
it's awesome HHAHAHA damn funny. i love rain!!
he's damn cute in the show hehe ^^

anyway on wednesday (i think it's wednesday)
felyn came over and we spent the day playing.
we played pictureka! and monopoly deal first.
damn dumb HAHAHHA we went siao playing pictureka!
then we shifted to the living room to play sims2 on ps2,
felyn got bored of it after awhile then we switched games.
played digimon HAHHAAHA
i kept winning at first but after that she caught up and started winning!
we went siao playing it HAHHAHA
damn kanchiong ok!!
and we made alot of noise also hahaah
she left at 7pm and i ate dinner and blahblah

yesterday was okaaaaaayyy,
my mood was ruined in the evening but after awhile it got okay
watched music bank year end special. it was awesome :D
then had dinner w family at tampines mall
bought two tops from cotton on (50%SALE!!!) awesomeeeeee.
went to the pasarmalam(sp?) and bought roasted chestnuts and ramly :D
went back at arnd 10+pm and i came home and watched the last few minutes of ppg
hehe i love ppg.
today, i woke up and just watched fugitive plan b HAHAHA
idk why my ep3 load so slow walao :(

anywya heheeh im going to m'sia from 25th to 28th!
yay. excited only :D
then my chalet will be from 30th dec to 2nd jan!
i think. not sure. HAHAHA.
i'll be inviting ppl to my birthday chalet *v*
31st december, time: idk HAHAHAH bbq? so maybe late afternoon?
errrr it's at downtown east there :D the chalet where you have to chop the transparent thingy to go in that one HAHHAH yeah
i know i think alot of ppl cant make it,
cause of the slashing incident and what,
ppl will want to spend time w their family and count down tgt
I KNOW I KNOW,it's like that every year.
HAHAHAH i understand :D oh well,
that's it ~~

plz click on my nuffies :D
tyvm, byebye!!

Day 18 - the person that you wish you could be.
i wish to be a skinny, pretty and rich girl :D

2010-12-14T13:02:00.002+08:00

You don't know, do you? That in a crowded place, my eyes will always search for you.

hello :)

yayyyyyyy im blogging. HAHAHA
my views dropped tremendously.
oh well,i have to live with the consequences.
cz i nvr update often + with nice stuff to read
HAHAHAH OH WELLLLLLLLLLL
anyway i will blog about yesterday cz my weekends were so-so only :(
hhahahaha.

YESHHTERRDAAAEEEE (monday)
woke up at 0940am and got ready and all
i guess i woke up abit too early. i had alot of spare time hahah.
met twin at montfort busstop then we bus-ed down to jewel's
some indian man with a tag kept staring at me :(
irritating much hmpf.
joey and chermaine came after awhile in a cab,
then jolene amanda juliana and jialin came (THEY WERE LATE!! :@)
went to jewel's hse and did nothing in her room first,
then shifted dwnstairs to "practice" the drill HAHAHA
more like play lor we didnt do much
we were playing with our hairs too
tie two ponytail, side ponytail, braids etc AHAHAHAH
damn cute :p
oh ya and we ordered kfc, so when the kfc man came,
all our hairs were still tied retardedly HAHHAHA
luckily im fast :p i took it out quickly HAHA!
brought the kfc in and ate,
laughed like siao also and jolene and cherie were the burping queens
they burp nonstop only HHAHAAHHA
then dk why also juliana kept laughing
and jolene laughed until she cried AS IN REALLY GOT TEARS DROP DOWN HAHAHAH
siao one leh this people!! HAHAH
aft that we played hide and seek HAHAHA two rounds nia,
i didnt play. i sat there and used jewel's computer (CAMWHORE HAHAH)
aft that joey and chermaine left :(
then played blind mice. damn fun :p
but v tiring also,have to run around quietly HAHAHA
i got caught once and so irritating they put chairs infront of me,
then i lifted my leg and my knee hit the chairs >:(
hmpf! pain ok! HHAHAAH.
played treasure hunt next. we ownself make one :p
omg damn fun HAHAHAHHA
lazy to explain hehehe :p
next, i think we played the stupid stupid game HAHAHAH
it's damn DAMN funny ttm.
laugh until stomach pain sia HHAHAAHHA.
amanda left after awhile then we continued playing,
changed to cheat then we gtg alrdy.
jewel's daddy sent me and cherie to serangoon gardens hhahah yay ty!
ate at chompchomp w cherie. stingray omelette and kangkong!
yum. but spicy. HAHAAHA. but yum! LOL.
walked arnd and went to the other coffee shop to buy cheekueh
went to macs and bought small fries to share. (I PAID!!)
went back and bathed and watched tv and slept ~~
yup. that's about it :D

kkz click on my nuffs plz (most impt hehe)
love y'all byebye muakz :D

Day 17 - someone from your childhood
HELLO SOLAI! (did i get your name correct HAHHAHA SHIT I FORGOT)
but nvm i doubt you'll see this anyway, we've drifted so far!
and i think you're in woodlands now (IF YOU DIDNT SHIFT AGAIN)
hello everyone this is solai my ex-neighbour from when i was young :D
we used to play EVERYDAY and i mean EVERYDAY HAHAHAH
we wld play outside at the corridor.
play scooter, bicycle, doctor, cooking, hide and seek, ETC ETC
hehehe so fun :p but then you shifted house.. TO WOODLANDS ADFHSLJALSGKEUN
we wrote to each other for awhile then stopped D:
oh well, hope you're enjoying life. AHAHAHA.
miss ya.

Bad stuff does happen sometimes. Always remember that, but remember that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick up your head and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, and you’ll move the hell on.

2010-12-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

Take me away

hello :)

im reallllyyyyy lazy to blog but i shall blog hahha
waiting for felyn to come over now:)
she's coming at 12 i think!
i think she's coming just cause im treating her to macs lor
HAHAHAH kidding :p
anw i shall blog about wednesday and ytd ~~

on wednesday i went back to school for cca fair practice
i was late! by a few minutes.
i officially think im super woman.
i was suppose to report at school at 9am right
i reached at 9:05 like that
GUESS WHAT TIME I WOKE UP HAHAHHAAH
i woke up at fucking 830!!!
I THINK IM DAMN PRO LOR., HAHAHHAHA I CHIONG LIKE SIAO,
and somemore i wait quite long for cab sia!
omg and the cab driver sucks HAHAHAH
he's from jurong and he isnt familiar with hougang area
so he ask me to direct him ALL THE WAY to school
so i did. all the way. like wth right.
at least he shld give me $1 off!!! HAHAHHA.
it was 7bucks ok :( hahahah aiyah,stupid me!
i off-ed my alarm instead of putting it to snooze -_- then i went back to sleep. HAHAHA.
anyway practice was pretty ok.
i got lazy after awhile hahaha.
dismissed at 1pm,uncle aziz came to fetch me.
went home and bathed and painted nails,
then left for serangoon. nex!
met michelle first then went to buy tix for Hello Stranger :D
headed to subway for lunch and kathleen came after awhile.
went to buy kathleen's macs and sneaked it in to the theatre ^^
watched Hello Stranger and omg it's damn cute :D
i like sia hahha but the ending is damn fucked up ok
hate the ending!! hahahah. but overall is was v cute + funny ^^
oh and they mentioned nichkhun too! and 2pm!
for awhile only :D hahaha.
aft that walked around,went to sasa to spray perfume and walked out HHAHAHAHA
101-ed home the long way and had a nice journey back :)
i like long bus rides now hahhaha.
but 101 was flooded -_- came back and ate dinner and everything.

kk abt yesterday........
felyn came over at 1020 and met her at macs
chiong to buy breakfast cz we thought it ended at 1030
but 11 they still selling -_- walao
went up to my hse and watched Girl, Interrupted and Easy A (hehe i dl it)
aft that left and walked alot.
walked all the way to hougang mall there and coincedentally met ichewychewu and her friend there :D
sent felyn to the mrt then 161-ed back.
came back, bathed and had dinner.
watched haunted mansion then shifted into the room to catch the last part of GDA :D
yup yup that's about it!

ok click on my nuffies plz
love ya muakz
byebye!! ^^

Day 16 - someone that’s not in your state/country
GEENA? HAHAHAHAH.
i think she's otw to USA now!
HI GEENA IM GONNA MISS YOU.
have fun in USA and dont forget to buy something for me ^^ HAHAHAH!
have a safe trip. love ya. ♥

Words can't express the impact you've made on me and in my entire life, and all I can say is that I love you for everything it turned out to be. This is for you, you're the one worth waiting for. You're all I ever needed in this life.

2010-12-07T17:56:00.002+08:00

I've been travelling on this road too long, just trying to find my way back home

hello :)

it's alrdy 7 december
time flies huh. 2010 is gone like that.
wow. that's damn fast hahaha.
2010 have been a..... confusing year for me...??
idk. many many things happened.
haahaha. aiyah,anyway
i cant wait for my birthday heheheh
geena's birthday was yesterday's and brandi's one is coming up!
celebrated geena's birthday w the girls ytd *v*

woke up and got ready to leave,
met up w the girls at serangoon and left for plaza sing tgt
went to carrefoure and i sat on the trolley heheh
squeezed with alfreda LOL
damn pain but haha fun :D
anyway we split up and took cabs to marina barrage
went to the roof top and surprised geena w a cake!
smashed cake onto her face she she smashed cake on mine
only two of us were attacking each other w cake hhaha
rushed off to plaza sing again to catch rapunzel!
we ran like aunties HAHAHAH
chiong up to the lift,many ppl were laughing at us
ran to the counter and was breathless by then HAHHAHA
cause we bought the tix at 0530 when the show was actually 0525!
but lucky got 15 min advertisement :D
bought popcorn and all and just chiong in only
HAHAHAHHA and we went into the wrong cinema somemore!!
we went to cinema 6 when ours was cinema 1
LOL fkin embarrassing. somemore we settle down everything alrdy
luckily vanna and i went outside to check whether it was the right cinema
we faster grab everything and went to cinema 1
caught rapunzel AGAIN :D
awesome show hehehhe i like *v*
rapunzel damn cute. and i love pascal HAHAHAH.
ok anyway aft the movie alfreda accidentally left her wallet in the cinema and panicked
went to the counter and luckily it was there!
HAHAHAH. train-ed back with huijuan vanna ruying and met tessa otw
when hj vanna ry and tessa left,some ahbeng asked us for tessa's number lol
then the other one asked for mine. somemore ask whether i chinese or malay sia!
walao punch you la. HAHAHA.
vanna followed me to hougang station cause she was scared or smth
hahaha thanks love!!!
went to 101 busstop but it was flooded and full alrdy
so i walked all the way to the 161 busstop and took 161 back.
had to cross overhead bridge :(
reached home at 0830 and was just in time for dinner w sis!
HAHAH. ate dinner and blahblah.

anyway for today i just... watched show the whole day HAHAH
woke up pretty late. at around 2?
watched girl, interrupted.
nice show :D okay i shall go have dinner + watch invincible youth now!
it's been long since i watched invincible youth :D
oh and theres spaghetti for dinner yay!

kk plz click on my nuffnangs love y'all v much hehe
byebye!!

Day 15 - the person you miss the most.
hello, i miss you. can you text me?
let's run away and don't ever look back

Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky. A moment in your arms became the reason why. And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness, the only one I need until my dying breath. And I would give you everything just to feel your open arms. And I’m not sure I believe anything I feel.

2010-12-04T18:25:00.002+08:00

I'm yours to keep

HELLO OMG!

i havent blogged for almost a week!
im so sorry :(
im vvvvv lazy nowadays
and i dont really use my computer too,
now that i have itouch hahahahah
and sometimes my computer's twitter sucks, so irritating.
anyway im giving up my watching-show-time to blog!! :D
yay. HAHAHA.

anyway, i have quitted drill competition.
hahahah idk why also.
i think its cause im lazy. really lazy. and i wna focus on my studies nxt year.
i did real badly for this year.
and i give others a chance to join and experience it,
since i alrdy joined/experienced it last year :D
oh well,
hope both senior and pioneer contingents have alot of fun, create alot of memories and get the gold award,and even better, challenge shield!! yay.
hahahah. i love JOPCDC2011 *v* (though im not part of them anymore!!)

anywayyyy!!
on wednesday i spent the day with twin twin (cherie!)
went down to her house first and painted her nails for her
then uncle aziz came and sent us to vivo!
walked around,bought ben&jerrys,bought movie tix ~~
watched rapunzel 3d!! it was awesome :)
maybe watching it again tmr w mummy and uncle aziz!!
yay hahhaha i love the show :D
AND her hair is damn chio ttm!! i like *v*
anyway aft that had the vivo's 4th anniversary celebrations thing
had the buffet, the food wasnt THAT great compared to last year :(
aft that watched nutcracker musical. was kinda boring.
took pics with the prince and princess in the end :D
went to the sky garden to view the fireworks then went home ~~
yup, that's it!!

on thursday i went down and the drill competition girls for lunch :)
had to pass miss heng a letter.
watched them do drill, bought them drinks and all :)
went back at arnd 330,
went to hougang mall w uncle aziz to buy shoes and subway!
aft that came home and lazed around,
and left for the gym in the evening.
went to bedok food centre to eat like siao HAHAHAHAH CRAZY RIGHT
exercise finish alrdy still go and eat.
sambal stingray samble sotong sambal lala kangkong belacan and tahu telor
HAHAHAHHA SHIOK SIA eat so much :p
but damn pig omg hahahah im damn fatttttt
anyway,
for friday,
it was family day :D
woke up early and went to ang mo kio to eat macs breakfast w uncle aziz mummy rina and ain
left for universal studio aft breakfast and had a blast!
sat many many rides :D
i love THE MUMMY the best!!
omg it was damn fun HAHAHAH i sat it thrice!!!
i was v scared the first time though,
i almost cried HAHAHAHAH. but then the second and third time was awesome :D
the walkway to walk to the starting queue was super super super long!!!
and creepy too :( it was vvv dark.
went to many diff rides and all.
watched the 4d shrek thing :) v cool hahah ~~
they spray water at you! HAHA.
and went to the 4d steven spielberg thing too.
COOL TTM. seriously,the effects are WOW!
wont tell you what it is about :p go check it out for yourselves!
but the stuffs there(even the food) are MAD expensive.
they suck tourists money only lor.
hahahaha. but,aiyah. once in a lifetime ~~
HAHA! aft that went to resort world (festive grand) and watched voyage de la vie ~~
IT WAS THE BEST SHOW EVAAAAAAAAAHHHH ~~
omg im madly in love with it :D
everything's damn cool! esp one blondie she swing swing swing on the rope
OMG damn scary sia.
and the crossbows guy. so many arrow point at him HE CAN JUST DIE YKNOW
omg. damn cool.
love it like siao!!!! i wna watch again :(
but so expensive ~~ hmpf.
anyway aft that went to jalan kayu to have prata for supper and went back
bathed and slept. exhausted :(

today, woke up and laze around the whole day
helped mummy pack some stuff and wrapped my books
i baked brownies just now too :)
and i bluff everyone i cut my finger HAHAHAHAHA check it out: xx
HAHAH! alrighty, im done here!!

plz click on my nuffs + tag or whatever :)
love y'all lots
byebyebyebyebyebye!!

2010-11-28T22:00:00.002+08:00

I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight

hello :)

sorry for lack of updates!
really lazy + no time + exhausted from the whole day hahah
im currently watching the MAMA awards on channel U :)
OMG THEY JUST SHOWED WOOYOUNG. LIKE CLOSE UP.
SINGING TO 2NE1'S SONG.
OMG THAT WAS THE CUTEST SHIT EVER
OMG LOLOLOLOLOL.
WOOYOUNG I LOVE YOU HAHAHAHA MARRY ME
HAHAHAHAH ok shhh enough !!

anyway yesterday had training in the morning,
ended then went to Nex mall with geena :)
ate at LJS then walked around
it's super huge i swear! as big as vivo,or even bigger!
went to a disney shop and i wanted to buy everything o m g
everything was damn bloody cute HAHHAHA
aft that met hannah at serangoon mrt and train-ed down to sengkang
took LRT for the first time and something vvv embarrassing happened to us omg
no where to hide my face sia
reached celine's hse and went to bathe first
slacked with everyone in celne's small room then went down to thefunction room
did nothing lor seriously hahahhaha
we just sat there and like stare hahahahha
there's nothing much to talk about it
we played hide and seek and screamed and ran and my feet now got orh-ceh (blue black)
then idk what,
we made fun of miss ng and her husband hahaha
went back at arnd 9.

today woke up and went to fly kite
brought oreo along :)
ate at mad jack at jalan kayu

ok nth much im lazy to blog i go watch MAMA alrdy
BYEBYE PLS CLICK ON MY NUFFS!!!
loves ehehehehehe :)

I cannot help it, I couldn't stop it if I tried. The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside. And I've heard that you can't fight love, so I won't complain. Cause why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on?

2010-11-24T18:25:00.002+08:00

I’m fighting myself to get you out of my head, but I’m hanging off of every word you said

hello!

im abit pek now cause of my dumb internet
it's fkin irritating lah ok
msn loads, blogger loads, xanga loads, EVERYTHING LOADS.
EXCEPT FOR TWITTER AND FACEBOOK (and tumblr but im not so pissed abt that)
WALAO. LIKE IRRITATING ONLY
i restart internet, restart everything!
ALSO CANNOT. and my itouch also cannot!
walao. annoying irritating frustrating pekceking RRRRRRRR
anyway, on to today HAHAHA

woke up and was mad tired o m g couldnt get up
mum switched on the big big bright bright light and i was pissed
LOL. got up ite and went to meet twin.
took 62 to schl and everytime we're in 62 we make like alot of noise HAHA
trainer taught us the last topic for first aid and then had 30 minutes break
OH YA before that we(me peitian juliana jewel cherie geena) had to carry someone up and down the room
FUCK i tell you my arm pain like no tomorrow ok
after that my muscle was fkin tight for the next hour and my arms were DAMN weak
i couldnt even hold on to my wallet + itouch + phone properly la.
fucking hiao , i thought my arm was gna drop off.
ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYY
went to mama shop to buy my fav snack and ice cream!
went back and had revision for the exam
had lunch at our ulu ulu coffee shop :)
LOR MEE FTW!! HAHAHHA.
went back and was caught in the rain abit only. heng ah.
had the theory test,and it wasnt even a test la.
it was like a discussion session and q&a LOL.
we just ask "EH QNS 17 IS WHAT AH?"
and the trainer will just explain explain then ite will tell us the answer
HAHAHA i think if someone still fail this, idk what to say
almost all the qns he give us the answer lor HAHHAA
not bad not bad ;)
after that had the bandaging test. everyone passed obviously haha
then had cpr test. my group was the fourth group to go in!
it was pretty ok :) wasnt THAT nervous actually
sjy damn funny hahahhahahahahaha i was umchio-ing like MAD
heheheheh ;)
everyone in my group passed, and freda and i was running for smth like best cpr or something
LOL only three ppl have that. me freda and jewel
aft that waited for cherie and went back.
while waiting for uncle aziz to come,asked geena to play piano for me hahah not bad sia
she can play v well :)
uncle aziz came and sent me and cherie back ~~
ate and here i am :)

actually my arm now abit weak also lor
but throughout the day it was ok o.o
maybe now i come back i relax alr so i can feel it again hahah
i feel damn fkin sleepy now
my eyes can just close like that
but i damn lazy to bathe :(
okok after this, bathe, then do some syncing + charging then sleep
i need to catch up on my sleep very badly :(
tmr there's training from 830 to 6 to it means i have to wake up early again
im gna use friday as in sleep-in day.
i will sleep no later than 11
alrighty, SET!! hehe.

kk pls click on my nuffnangs :)
and my viewers drop :(
sadded is me. HAHAHAHAH.
ok byebye love you muakz.

Day 14 - someone you’ve drifted away from.
hello you, you and you :) we used to talk EVERYDAY from morning to night. but now, it's all gone. hahahah. my conversation box will always be filled with our texts. awww i miss you, you and you so much :( hope we can talk again soon. ♥

I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know? Like I don't belong in my own skin, and I get so frustrated at everything, I could just scream.

2010-11-22T18:28:00.003+08:00

The distance makes it hard to breathe; my heart won't let go easily. I don't want to be this far away.

hello :)

today was a long day ~~
but it passed pretty quick.
does that even make sense? HAHAHA.
oh well, im currently multi tasking >:D
eating dinner and blogging at the same time muahahaha
oh and my tv spoiled again :(
idk why but it just cannot on!
tsk pekcek only lor!!!!

anyway, i woke up at 650 today and got ready and stuff
met twin at her hse busstop and went down to schl tgt
reached and went to some classroom and had idk what
and transfered down to the AVA room
had first aid course and erm bandaging and cpr and other stuff lol
was pretty okay,
but some parts was vvvv boring-__-
wna sleep alr zzzzzzzzz
BUT there were quite alot of breaks :D
two 15 minute tea breaks and one 1 hour lunch break~~
my gb clique + peitian went to mama shop opposite schl
ate tom yam yum yum hehhehe
went back and continued with the course
well apparently there's an exam on the third day and if you fail the whole thing,
you'll have to go to CHANGI to retake the test
lmao.
cherie said our whole clique fail then we go changi retake right,
then aft that we go changi village eat stingray LOL
i hope i wont fail though :( dont wna go all the way there just to retake a test!!
for the mcq there are 25 qns and MAXIMUM you can get wrong is THREE
so if you get more than three wrong, you fail -_-
wth right. and that's for theory. practical also have!!
alamakkkkkk stress sia!
ended at 450 and bus-ed back with twin and geena

OH YA MY EARPIECE SPOIL SIA :'(
the right side cannot hear anything!
walao. my fav earpiece T.T
maybe i shld go get another one exactly like it HAHAH
oh and...
I FINALLY GOT MY ITOUCH 4 HEHEHEHEH
are you all jello hehehe
i love it alot hehe muak muak

okay this holidays doesnt even feel like holidays to me ;(
have training on alternate days,
and this week my only free days are friday, sunday (whole day) and saturday (half day)
mon > wed : first aid course,
thur : whole day , training.
wth right :'( ok nvm idw rot at home anyway
oh and when are the results for the appeal letters thingy coming out?
i wna hurry get my books but idk whether i made it into f&n or not!

alrightie,
pls click on my nuffs / tag / formspring / ywot me / whatever ok
MOST IMPT IS click on nuffs heheheh thanks alot
muak muak muak

Day 13 - someone you wish could forgive you.
i dont really have anyone that i wish cld forgive me ._.
well, i cant think of anyone,
so i assume i dont have anyone HAHAHAHAH

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

[EDIT@833PM]
I GOT INTO F&N!!!!!

2010-11-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna fight for you, even if it kills me

hello :D

im blogging for fun. though i have absolutely nothing to blog about.
my past few days were unproductive
i totally didnt do anything.
hahahaha.
i downloaded three movies today though.
downloading another three now. so in total: six.
i watched eclipse just now also hahahah
not bad not bad :p

tmr's another day of training!!
having my period now, but not so bad *thank god :D*
cause tmr will be my 4th / 5th day!
so it wont be so horrendous LOL
and after trng tmr i think i'll be going for lunch with geena :d
i hope i can go out w mummy and uncle aziz on sunday!
i wna get my itouch 4 heheheheh
and have swensens!! omg i damn long nvr eat swensens :D
im watching spongebob on nickelodeon now hahhaha
ok i really really have nothing to blog about.

anyway, my nuffs money isnt increasing :(
sian. pls pls pls click on my nuffs leh
i'll love you x1000000 more heheheheh
yesh it's an honour to be loved by me ok!
ok i shld stop. HAHAHAHA.

anyway i asked jiejie to buy macs for me before she comes home
she die also dw sia :( sian hahaha i shall continue persuading!!

okay that's all for this post LOL.
tag + click on nuffs pls~!!!!!!
love you all muak muak muak muak muak muak :D

Day 12 - the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.
i dont really have anyone who i hate alot :/
caused me alot of pain? erm. someone. hahahaha.
oh man sho sadz.
oh well. life's like that right :D
just, look on the bright side? HAHA.

Nothing is certain anymore. I don't know what in the world is the right thing to do, and so I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be. I don't want to sit back and watch you be fine without me. I don't want to cry and carry on like I have been doing for the past week. I just want not to want you anymore. I want to, hell, I need to, just move on.

2010-11-16T20:57:00.002+08:00

Impossible

hello hello :)

im currently at urban spoon heheheh
i just haad a very satisfying and spicy dinner!!
i tell you it was sooooo spicy until i almost killed myself
but damn nice also :D
hehehe had seafood. everything was spicy,
crab, prawn, vegge. HAHAHAH. walao.
anyway hehehehe let's talk abt today shall we :D

woke up at like 615 and got ready.
met twinny @ hgm and had macs breakfast :D
big breakfast hhehehe. bus-ed down to school and was early.
ate our dabao-ed hashbrown and soon everyone came ~~
did drill blah blah blah
was pretty okay, had resistance for 10minutes under the sun somemore
hahahah wasnt THAT tiring,
just that my boots were BURNING i thought it was gna catch fire anytime.
lunch was alright :D
ate at coffee shop with JOPCDC2011 heheheh *v*
cause of the XIAN SHENG(HAHAHAHAH) at the chicken rice store,
we had to wait like 15minutes for three people's food!
i think he forgotten abt us lor!
ate and went back :D
oh and my supermehmehtan treated me push pop hehehe awesome *v*
went back and had some squeeze and spread game (or was it before lunch HAHAHAH IDK)
it's all jumbled up cause i cant rmb!!
oh ya and i brought taboo so we played in between too :D
hahahah quite fun lor! had bonding sessions hehehhe i like :)
then we had to command again :( hahaha embarrassing sia :$
and we did drill with our eyes closed also.
turnings on the spot hahah.
COMMANDER JOLENE NG YU WEN DAMN MEAN LOR
we close eyes then she keep scaring us!
she touch my neck and leg sia :( walao i scream HAHHAAHHA damn itchy and scary!!1
dismissed at 6 and fetched twinny back too.
went home to bathe then came down to jalan kayu and ate @ Flamingo or whtvr
ate seafood haahahah yayyy
but damn spicy lor,like what i mention on top hahhaha
i was kicking everywhere and banging the table and sniffing like mad
all the waiters laugh at me lor!!
and somemore say "xiao mei cannot eat spicy ah"
walao gnd HAHHAHAHA
and i drank two cans of green tea HAHAHHA :p
aft that came down to urban spoon and here i am!! :D
kkz that's about it!

thursday's training is cancelled.
happy and sad about it hahaha.
happy cause YAYYYY NO TIRING STUFF FOR THE WHOLE DAY HAHAHAH
and sad cause im gna rot at home and i wont be laughing like mad w JOPCDC2011!
hahaha oh well! i guess im more of happy than sad though :D
so tiring sia hahhaah.
first aid course on monday and tuesday? lol i just found out today only hahah.

okay I HAVE TO GO TO FACEBOOK AND WRITE ON EVERYONE'S WALLS NOW.
HAHAHAHA walao. i was bored. hahaha.
i didnt know so many people would 'like' it lor!!
hahahah ok a special segment now:

I LOVE LEE HUI JUAN ALOT ALOT ALOT x100000 HEHEHEHHE *v*

HEHE! kk byebye! click on my nuffs plz :)
love everyone muakz *v*

Day 11 - a deceased person you wish you could talk to.
er i have no one in mind LOL

Day 10 - Write about the 1 person you constantly think about. Who’s this person and why?
heheheh cannot say who la i shy :$

I'm so afraid, I can't hold on this time. That's why I write, to let you know just what goes on. Cause this is me and everything I've dreamed, and you know that I cant just settle for anything. Just once more can we pretend that everything is okay and that we are all happy? Breathe hope in me. I need you. I try so hard to make this work in my life. I still believe in you.

2010-11-12T20:02:00.002+08:00

Some things are just never meant to be, no matter how hard we wish they were

hello!

i'll be blogging about yesterday,
but i wont really be blogging. LOL.
today's post will be a special one *v*
because........
i'll be grabbing it from geena's blog!
HAHAHAHAH SORRY IM REALLY LAZY TO BLOG!!
here it goes~~

11/11/2010:
Drill comp training again today, my muscles are damn strained by now cause we had training from 8.30am till 5pm today = 8.5 hours omg can't believe we made it through this time round but hey, it's only the first long day and there's still many more sessions to go.

Played hide-and-seek with jolene and amanda around the first level of the school hahaha the senior contingent fav game
Lunch with JOPCDC 2011 @ opposite school mama shop mmhmm tomyam, by the time drill comp end I think we would have all lost some hair already if we continue going there every tuesday and thursday!
We bought the fish snack + some Ben 10 bubble thing after that so cool, the senior contingent got super fascinated with the bubbles hahah it was damn pretty what, like you could see everyone within the bubble :)
My clique + amanda + jolene were damn pig too haha we kept lazing around on the parade sqaure floor by lying on our shoebags to sleep instead of doing drill
I realised that my contingent loves eating esp skittles!
Stayed back for awhile after training with juliana micaela jolene amanda, they were spamming their tweet tweet with gross stuffs eew

GRABBED FROM GEENA'S BLOG!! XXXX (click to go to her blog haha, dont forget to click her nuffs HHAAHAHHA IM SO NICE!!!)

anyway i slept for like 14 hours after that and it was sooo shiok
my thighs and waist are aching abit, but it's bearable :)
i hit my fourth toe on my left foot ytd against the toilet bowl,
nw it hurts whenever i move it
i cant even walk properly. i have to limp. haha.
hope it'll get better overnight so i can do drill tmr!
alrighty,
i will blog again some time this weekend :)

gdbye xx
oh and click on my nuffs plz heheheh *v*
love you all!

Day 10 - someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.
i want my phone inbox to be flooded with your texts :(
im wishing for the impossible. lol wtf.

Day 9 - 2 quotes/sayings/songs etc. that keep you motivated
i dont really have any... hahhaha.
but i rmb mich told me this b4:
when life knocks you down just get back up
hahah i guess that's it?

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It's not like you're giving up, and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

2010-11-10T21:08:00.005+08:00

All I know is that I don't know how to be something you'll miss

hello :)

2010 is passing so quickly, dont you think so?

hahaha i think so!

it's already 10/november.

wow. really. that's damn fast hahaha.

im gna be sec3 next year. woah.......

THAT'S DAMNNNN FAST. HAHAHAH shit im not ready yet :(

oh and im really sleepy and exhausted now hahaahha

i had so much fun just now *v*

hehehe. gna write about it now!

woke up at 1120 hahaha chiong and got ready,

bus-ed down to hougang mall and met jewel jolene and geena at ntuc

zina and alicia came after awhile,

went to macs to have lunch. squeezed into a tiny table!

claire came after awhile and jewel and i went to buy my stud :3 hehe

yes i put back my smiley haha.

havent close leh! hahahah.

went to "red man" to buy baking ingredients! hehe.

bought decorations and tin and etc etc

101-ed back,and started w a game of twister.

was mad retarded i swear hahahaha

damn tiring lor i cannot tahan hahahaha

played taboo next, hahahaha it was equally retarded w everyone's epic expressions and explanations

esp jolene! HAHAHAH. the indian dot thing hahaha damn cute

and alicia with her spinning round thing LOL

OH AND one card the answer was "school holiday"

so alicia was the one explaining and she was like "what are you having now??"

and the immediate and automatic reply was "MENSES!!"

HAHAHAHHA damn dumb! laugh until stomach pain :D

they played monopoly next, but got bored of it ite HAHAH

had WWIII in my hse.... LOL.

some climbed up to the bed on top (double decker)

and started throwing and hitting each other with soft toys and pillows

AND OUR FAVOURITE SUMO! which is dead now. R.I.P..

HAHAHA the dumb sumo :)

went to bake brownies next. was very successful :)

the results was just DE-LI-CIOUS!!!

goshhhh,it's damn good lor srsly :)

while waiting for it to bake, we sat at my door there hahahah wth

looked through my photos and took pictures

went into the room to idk do what after that.

had another round of twister hahahah.

oh ya and we ordered pizza :) i forgot which one lol..

went to eat and watched valentine's day. actually no one was watching. HAHA.

after that took group photo and everyone left :)

it was such a tiring + fun day for me!

and my hse was definitely messed up HAHAH WWIII!

but it's ok :) the most impt part was we had fun! yeah ~~

HAHAHAH. sad that cherie juliana and amanda cldnt join us!

hahah nvm another time *v*

anyway, just thinking about drill tmr is killing

8AM to 6PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSH.... i think im going to die.

hahahaha and even if i dont die from exhaustion, i think i will kill myself

LOL jk i wont HHAHAHA

alrighty, i wont sleep too late tnight,

MUST sleep before 11am! have to wake up at 650 tmr argh.

hahahaha alrightyyyy

click on my nuffs plz :) thanks hehehe!

Day 9 - someone you wish you could meet.

MBLAQ and 2PM :( im nt going to meet them cause mummy doesnt allow me to go for mnet concert :( ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

oh and the person im going to marry in the future *v* heheheh

Day 8 - 3 confessions

#1: i was a victim(is that the correct word haha) of self harm last time

#2: i used to smoke (maybe now too haha idk)

#3: i l y s m

gdbye xx

I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often. - Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski

2010-11-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

What if I killed myself tonight, would you fucking care?

hello haha

i suddenly have this feel or whatever to blog.
i have no idea why either. hahaha.
first things first,the important stuff:

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY HANNAH HOISINGTON ♥

i love you so much and your stupidity and your asthmatic (OMG IDK HOW TO SPELL LOL) laughter hehehehhee ♥ you frickin parawhore!

alrighty, next, about my weekend:
spent my saturday hving trng, sleeping, and doing nothing.
yep.
woke up early and went to school for trng
trng was killer, because of miss heng she make us hentak till we almost died
i swear. sucked.
had a mini competition with the senior contingent (sec1s)
and we lost hahahah it's okay we will go get our own ice cream (because the winning contingent would get free ice cream by miss heng lol)
after trng went to macs with cherie geena grace joie and charmaine lol
ate happy meal and went back home
bathed and went to sleep
slept till 7+, shiok or what :) hehehe but 3hrs only hahahah nvm!
aft that went to daddy's place :)

today,woke up late. i think at 2. hahaha.
lazed around and left for amk hub with sissy at about 3plus, 4.
went to rubi, cotton on, bought shaved ice, artbox and random shops
ate dinner @ ichiban sushi (daddy came aft awhile)
went back to daddy's hse, lazed arnd and went back home.
here i am hahaha.

decided to stay up tonight with felyn
dont feel like going to bed
because if i go to sleep, i'll wake up early, and i wont have any fucking thing to do tmr!
definitely. haha.
and my tv is spoilt, so i wont have any tv to watch
argh hahaha. can anyone come to my hse tmr to rot with me? :(
i booked felyn too late, people asked her out alrdy.
ah sian. at times like these, i wish i had training everyday.
hahahah whattttt am i nuts -_-
oh yes,speaking about being nuts,
i think i really am. im insane. hahahah.
every night w/o fail i will go nuts (except for tonight,tonight i controlled :D)
i would be in the fuck-everything mood and feel like drinking my night away
i would have sudden cravings for alcohol and cigarettes.
haha yes.
and i would feel like pulling all my hair out and fucking go crazy.
it happens at night only. hmm, i wonder why.
and i hate you for not even giving a fuck. yes. you.

i feel so........ confused. hahaha.
oh man. life's like that :)

plz click on my nuffs (as usual hahaha)
i love you all so much. ♥

Day 8 - your favorite internet friend.
i dont have a favourite internet friend o.o

Day 7 - 4 phrases you say a lot
#1: "oh my mother" (definitely)
#2: "wad der...."
#3: "impossible"
#4: i have no idea alrdy LOL

i dont say "i have no idea alrdy LOL",i mean i rlly dk what else i say often. haha.

Why do we even bother? Why do we make ourselves open to such easy damage? Is it all loneliness? Is it all fear? Or is it just to experience those narcotic moments of belonging with someone else?

2010-11-05T22:14:00.002+08:00

Time shows us that all that ever mattered leaves us in the cold

hello :D

it's already friday and the week passes so quick.
the weekends are here,and one week of your holidays just flew past.
i bet everyone rotted at home.
wahhahaa. not me :) well,i did. on wednesday. only!
hahahah so it wasnt so bad for me :D
actually i didnt regret joining drill competition.
i cant imagine what i'd be doing this holiday if i didnt join
i think i will just... rot.
LOL. ok whatever.

anyway,yesterday's training was fine :)
some stuffs happened hahaha but jojo was so cute she was trying to solve it :)
heh she's our angel sent from heaven! *v*
aft trng 10 of us went to eat at bishan!
heh yes ten of us!
me cherie juliana geena jewel claire amanda zina jolene and alicia :D
i think we made alot of noise in the bus
okay,not i think. but IM SURE. HAHAHAH.
one uncle was damn pek with us lor.
but ite he fell asleep? er.... HAHAHAHAH.
talk talk talk nonstop in the bus all the way hahah
went to eat ajisen ramen and we split into two groups :(
my clique sat at one table and the sec3s all at another table ~
it would be more fun if we sat tgt lor :( hahah but nehmind!
made alot of noise,as usual. esp w the "chow ah beng" HAHAHA MY GOD.
funny sia.
k aft that uncle aziz came and fetched cherie, amanda and jolene home :D
amanda asked jolene a very very very very very x100000 dumb qns:
YOU GOT GO HOME BEFORE NOT?
wah. HAHAHAHAH damn funny ~
k sent everyone home,then went back.
bathed and used comp and slept.
OH,before sleeping,felyn tan called me lah HAHAHA ass sia
she tell me dont sleep. and i entertained her for 20 minutes.
hmpf. heheheh.

anyway,today is jocelyn's birthday :)
happy birthday!
oh and ain's too! hahahha. she's such a small kiddo.
OH YA she nvr reply my msg wahlao hahahhaha
anw,i woke up and ate macs brkfst,
felyn came over aft awhile and many dumb things happened la k
i shall not elaborate to keep me from embarrassment HHAHAHA
im a route idiot lah ok!!1
we took v long bus rides and walked to everywhere and everywhere we went,
felyn said "dont stare at ppl,ltr they chop you!"
wah, funny hor felyn. LOL.
ite we spent 13bucks on cab fare and when we went there,
we just sat thr, went to macs to eat, went to parkway parade to walk arnd,
and went back.
er.... what a fruitful day (or whtvr LOL)
sent felyn home and went for dinner w uncle aziz
ate cheesy 7 mmmmmmm *v*
we eat until damn messy ahhahah everyone use knife and fork we used our hands and chomped on the pizza
heh we sho kute lyk datz zz zzzz LOL
watched megamind and i was FRICKINNNNN cold oh meh gawd
hehehehhe the show was damn funny though :D
aft the show ended came back and bathed,
and here i am!

okay there's trng tmrrrr,
aft trng gna go eat ice cream w jopcdc2011 heh ^^

kay,plz click on nuffs again :)
tyvm heheheh. byebye!!

Day 7 - your ~~ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/~~love/crush (arent they both the same lol)
hey hey you you i love you *v*

Day 6 - Name 5 ex boyfriends/girlfriends and which one meant the most to you?
five?! wah. siao ah. so many meh. HAHHAHAHA.
#1 : OREO , you broke my heart. i will nvr trust you agn. HAHHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHHE.
ok lah oreo i still love you heheheheh muakczzzcaszczxsdvfdvcds *v*

Excuse the wall I put it up from time to time. A silver shade, and the design is all mine. It's just a maze that everyday I seem to be stuck in. It never seems to fade away but I pray for the day it ends. I am not perfect and I don't claim to be, and if that's what you wanted well then I'm so sorry.

2010-11-02T21:04:00.008+08:00

lets let the pictures do the talking :)

commander jojo ♥

retarded running shots ~~

Drill Competition 2011 Pioneer Contingent 4th Coy ♥

how cute is this ♥

no need to fear, supermehmehchoo and supermehmehtan are here!! ♥

spazz + unglam queen & some extras at the back LOL ♥

bunny jojo ^^

ice cream session w loves ♥

COR MI

♥♥♥

hay s3xy

that's about it :)

Day 6 - a stranger.

You're beautiful.

Day 5 - 6 lies
#1: im not awesome
#2: im not cool
#3: im not super
#4: im not fantastic
#5: im not majestic
#6: im always happy

SIX LIES. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

click on nuffs plz*HEARTS*

2010-11-01T10:53:00.004+08:00

When will you find your place in this world? Cause it will never be beside me again.

good morning everyone :)

yessss,micaela choo suet k is back!!!:)
after like two weeks of MIA (almost hahahaha), im back!
mummy unlocked my computer because she was going to china :D
and i think she thinks i will be bored w/o my computer or smth hahaha
so she unlocked it! yay,
two weeks of computer + no mummy (sad or happy lol)
and i have a crisis here :(
i forgot to ask mummy to sign my report slips
she left alrdy. how!??! do i let my daddy sign it or my unofficial stepdad!! LOL.
crap man. seriously.

anyway,gna blog abt thur > sun :)
thursday was the last day of school,
which means, sadness and no more 2-5 and new classes next year
most of us from the spongebob grp and M2F+alf and hannah got into 3B2
only felyn, geena and ruying didnt get into 3b2 :(
oh man... it's ok,you guys will forever be in my heart still! *hearts*
heh. ilygsm:)
anyway,after all the sadness + tears + laughters,geena hannah and i went for detention
finally,the last day!
detention was kinda fun :) the aunty was super cute
she called three of us "the gang" cause we had some cute lighted up ring :D
and she wanted to join our "gang" too and asked us to buy the ring for her
ehehheeh she damn cute
aft detention,hannah left and geena and i went for drill training :)
was super slack though,
and it was supppeerrrrr funny because we did it in chinese and disturbed the sec 1s :)
jolene said "TURN AROUND" instead of keblakang and it was SOOO unexpected we stopped and laughed till we dropped to the ground
HAHAHHA it was HILARIOUS.
and i took many of jolene's unglams hehehhe :)
aft that went for ice cream with jolene cherie geena and juliana :)
wahhh drill head treat us icecream sia! yayyyy. :D
went back and packed my stuffs :)

FRIDAY:
woke up and got ready to leave.
cherie came to fetch me :D
reached schl and everyone was here alrdy.
had devotion first then left for dragon boating
was quite fun actually :)
but i was scared that i would stain because the instructors kept splashing us with water :(
hello,girls thing!! LOL.
well,someone did leak,but not me heh i wont mention who to keep her from embarrassment :D
aft that had lunch there and went back to school
changed and left for sembawang GB and BB camp :)
the camp was pretty cool. the dorms had bunk beds and the showers had heaters!!(AWESOME)
had some workshop first then idk did what.
the first day was pretty okay.
my group was super cute hehe with clarice and huimin :)
group 3 ftw! *hearts*
aft bathing i think we had some running up n down thing which made us perspire -_-
dumb or what hahhaha.
anyway it was pretty fun :)
had some team work thing where everyone had to work tgt.
went to bed at arnd 12 :)

SATURDAY:
woke upthe earliest! excos and joy platoon woke up alrdy but peace and love hvnt!
yay joy :D
went down the earliest too.
had breakfast. beehoon,as usual. cldnt finish up :(
i wanted to vomit alrdy lor.
thank god jolene and amanda helped me with one mouth-full each :D
i cant really remember what we did :/
had an informal workshop with ms heng and ms chang :)
was v funny hahahah they showed us their past photos!
had drill @ the park and it was so sunny :(
got real tanned. lol. idw sia :(
anyway, had campfire aft that :D
it was erm... very hot hahahah.
and our game is abit fail + sucess at the same time :)
and dionne had her lame jokes to share with everyone hahhaha v dumb lor
heheh i loved campfire :)
it was soooo awesome ^^
oh and i somehow "battled" with miss kok on who had the longest front tooth
and we tied. lol. wtf right LOL.
aft campfire,area cleaning was TERRIBLE
we had to clean the toilet and it was DISGUSTING
i swear i almost vomitted ok :(
oh and jolene and dominique went home. oh man.
went to bed at 12-ish again :)

SUNDAY:
idk why my alarm didnt ring,but i woke up when my dorm ppl made noise.
got up and got ready.
had devotion and geena led :D hahahha she was so retarded!
workshop3 and it was pretty boring
but sat with the excos and it was DAMNNNN funny
esp dionne omg HAHAHAHH
she wanted to say "shen jing bing" and she said "bing shen" (ICE GOD?) HAHAHAHHAHA
MY GOD, and she pronounce calculated wrongly
it was DAMNNN funny.
me, amanda and juliana kept laughing HAHAHAH
anw,we had to change out of full u and into national tee then into full u again as a punishment
the four of us (me cherie geena and juliana) were the first to report heh :D
and i got "scolded" just cause i took the wrong waterbottle and cldnt find mine lol -_-
aft that when we went back to take our stuffs,
i got "scolded" again and was asked to unpick my full u because it was too short...
what the.. lol. amanda got unpicked too. oh man.
did evaluation then phototaking and went back to PL :)
group 3 won 1st/2nd prize! it was a tie between us and grp 2 :)
i didnt bring home the prize though hahahah nvm i didnt want it anyway
aft that mummy came to fetch me and cherie back and went home,
bathed and went to swensens to eat
i fell asleep in the car on rina's shoulder hahaha i almost drooled LOL
i was damn moody during dinner lol idk why also
aft that went home and slept str8 away hahah

alot of funny things happened during camp :)
"BYEBYE!!!" was the best HAHHAHAHA WINK WINK!!
and "how many mehmeh jump over the wall?" HAHAH I LIKE THAT ONE whooop~~
hehehehe :) i love sec2tc :)
i didnt know it was gna be that fun hahahah
oh ya and clarice huimin and i spent too much time laughing during 3rd day lunch that we almost had no time to eat HAHHAHA we had to rush LOL
im uploading the photos from the last day of school now :)

d, ilysm. pls be strong. im sorry i didnt notice earlier.

CLICK ON MY NUFFS PLS PLS PLS :)
TYSM,LOVE EVERYONE *spam heartsss*

Day 5 - your dreams.
dreams as in sleeping dreams or my dreams for the future? lol.

i dont really have any dreams for the future, YET.
i dont know what i wanna do next time lor srsly :(

Day 4 - 7 bad habits
gosh. HAHHAHAHA.

#1: saying "OH MOTHER.." or "MY MOTHER" or "OH MY MOTHER" heh those at camp will know hehehehhe wink wink winkzzz
#2: biting my lips :/
#3: doing/saying without thinking (I GOTTA STOP DOING THAT)
#4: biting my lips again (IM DOING IT NOW HAHAHHA OMG)
#5: making fun of ppl :/
#6: biting my lips
#7: biting my lips
HHAHAHAHAHH MOSTLY IS BITNG MY LIPS LOR.
LOL OOPS. :D

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination. But I see you stare, just a little too long, and it makes me start to wonder. So baby, call me crazy, but I think you feel it too. Maybe I just gotta get next to you.

2010-10-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

omg hello im using my phone to blog now :D how awesome is that. i didnt know i can. haha. well,the reason why im blogging thru my phone is bcz my mum locked my computer. so i wont be updating so often unless i go to my daddy's hse or someone else's hse and use their comp. lol. or if i ask my mum to unlock cz i wna use or smth. haha,aiya. anyway,sorry for lack of updates. something quite "big" happened in school. shall not elaborate on it. got a punishment > 5 demerit pts and detention till sch ends. just like this and i get 5 demetrit pts. aiya.. anyway. school's coming to an end. i will miss 2-5 so much:( esp spongeob grp and my clique and shinee grp. oh man,hope some of us will still be in the same class nxt yr :) ahah. im watching mubank nw and shinee is on! OH TALKING ABT SHINEE..i went to kpop night on saturday and it was a blast:D everyone was so cute hehe esp minho and minhwan MY GOD they damn cute can?! oh and tiffany looks diff in rl!
oh well. i joined drill comp :)

K BYE LOL CLICK ON MY NUFFS PLZ

2010-10-21T17:05:00.002+08:00

Cyber bullying is not a joke.

Stop before it's too late.

2010-10-20T20:13:00.003+08:00

On the inside, I'm only one step away from the edge

hello loves ♥

i am so bored :( that's why im blogging. haha.
i have no idea where felyn disappeared to :'(
oh man hahaha nevermind. shall text her later.
i feel so tired yet awake at the same time.
hahaah. weird huh.
oh and i keep thinking that there is no school tmr. lol.
i wish.

woke up feeling PMS-y, i have no idea why. haha.
bus-ed to school and huijuan did the "school sedia" thing today :)
cheered her on by saying the pledge loudly!
and alfreda shouted "GO HUIJUAN" LOL!
had some sexuality talk. boring ttm.
ate porridge with ruying for recess. yay.
wasnt listening during the sexuality talk hahaha. four hours sia...
want to die ah!!?
christmas service next,hahahaha. so early right.
boring. didnt listen much either.
in the end, got scolded by miss gan and mrs soh
hahahaha. 2-5 to 2-8 misbehaved during the sexuality talk,
so mrs soh scolded us. hahahah.
aft that,went to pee (LOL) then went up to the media studies room
shifted to computer lab 3 and had interview
i sat next to alfreda and we had our interviews together :)
hehe. so cute right. i know *v*
went to the cafe and ruying michelle brandi hannah and zann were there
they pon math remedial only lor.
hahahha i have a reason okeh :)
begged them to go for prata with me, but the die also dw.
i just walked away. lol.
took 113 and 101 back home and used comp.
bathed, watched dream team and ate dinner.
yup. that's all.

stupid grooming workshop thingy tmr i think
either that or the CPR thing.
waste of time and money. i wanna pon.
but if i do that,i'll be wasting my mum's money bcz she paid for them already
so no matter what,i'm still going
i'll force myself to go.

oh and im saving up $400 to pay back my mum for all the kpop concerts i'm going/have been to.
yup. i calculated,and it came up to $400. or maybe more.
oh well. i think it will take me quite awhile to save up $400.
im already paying $22 for the mnet concert tix, so my piggybank will be left with......
around $80? hahahah im not really sure :/
anyway, save money = dont eat too much = wont gain weight so fast :D
awesome. oh and from (this) monday onwards,
i'm NOT going to eat any junk food / chocolate / chips / ice cream / e t c
yep. no im not!

Day 4 - your sibling.
HEY YOU MICHELLE CHOO (oh it rhymes)

hahahahahaha you are a loser
i hate you. and i love you. lol.
when are you coming back you fat gerger with small nehnehs LOL
lol i dont even know if you're gna read this
hahahahahhahaha ok text me / msn me if you read this
bye

Day 3 - 8 things that are on your mind right now
1) you
2) one moment of glory - shit i forgot to watch! ok aft i blog i go watch
3) mummy. i miss her! she went for some dinner.
4) oreo. WHERE IS HE AH? sleeping somewhere i bet.
5) 2-5, oh man idw to leave :( 6 more days tgt ♥
6) some christian song, i forgot the title
7) company outing!! abit excited :D
8) drill competition. quit? dont quit? ok la i dont quit. for the sake of the number of ppl and 4th coy's face ok :) and my friends too heh ♥

alrighty. that's all :)
click on my nuffnangs pls pls pls pls pls plssss
i love you all. byebye ♥

You're sick of feeling numb, you're not the only one. I'll take you by the hand, and I'll show you a world that you can understand. This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work. Trust me, and take my hand. When the lights go out, you will understand.

2010-10-19T20:08:00.002+08:00

I feel too much. Way too much.

hello :)

sorry for not updating for the past four days.
i hope i didnt lose any viewers :'(
my views increased a little recently :)
heheheh happy! click on my nuffs okeh!!!

today,went to school as usual.
had the innovation week presentation from everyone.
group 4 - alfreda isabel jewel nahyun (hannah, not here) was chosen to represent 2-5!
even though we didnt win,
it's ok!!!!
you girls are still number one in my heart. HEHHEHEHEH.
ate three paus today. two small one big.
i swear im never buying the big pau again.
idk why but it taste different + weird
and i cant finish it. vanna had to eat it up for me. haha.
i stuffed it in her mouth :3
after school,went to coffee shop with ruying and brandi and cherie and geena and jewel
ate prata,then went back with brandi and ruying
went for math remedial. boring.
just did worksheet and questions. lol.
the 1hr10min passed real quick.
changed, and went for cca.
drill drill drill and more drill.
was tiring,but fun and awesome :)
sweaty!!! definitely alot of sweat!
geena perspired until her WHOLE pinafore was wet.
yucckkkkksss!!!!
bus-ed home and watched invincible youth.

Day 3 - your parents.
mummy ilysm you are the best mum in the world even though you are annoying at times heh. you spend so frickin much on me. you spoil me!!!! heheh I LOVE YOU

daddy ily and ihy at the same time

i'll do the other one another day. tired.

click on my nuffnangs pls :)
t h a n k y o u !

I wonder what you're doing right now and if you're okay. I hope you are. I wonder if you have trouble sleeping 'cause you're thinking too much and if you're sad. I hope you're not. I wonder if you think of me, miss me, and also wonder. I hope you do.

2010-10-14T19:57:00.004+08:00

Save me

hi~~

just talked to felyn on msn
hahahah she was being soooo retarded my goddd.
she went to bathe, so she put her msn automessage as:
Cleangirlz123 off to bathe to upgrade to Supercleangirlz456!
SHE THINK SO CUTE ONLY LOR.
hahahahhahaa
oh yesh just now i slept for like 3hrs40mins :)
SHIOK TTM hehehehhehehe!
i was damn tired ok :'(
oh and i dreamt a GREAAAAAAAAAAT dream how i wish it will come true hehhe *v*

woke up at the usual time and met cherie and geena @ cherie's hse busstop
we forgot to tell her we changed the meeting time!
hahahah oops!
took 62 to school and we peeped at this yuying guy's messages infront of us
HAHAHAHAH damn funny my god.
reached school and changed, then stood there for damn long during flag raising
rosanne fainted omg :'(
waited for the guest of honour super long walao :(
stand there can die sia. hahahaha.
and stupid cherie asked me to look up @ the sky when we supposedly werent suppose to move
so i thought it was something interesting and i looked and i didnt see anything (cldnt see)
then i was like what!?!? O.O
and cherie went "birds."
WALAO HAHAHHAHAHA. cute ah?!
hahhaa anw rested for awhile after that and went to stand in the other position leading to ISH
walao. we waited for damn long.
but luckily we were allowed to sit down :)
i sat there and FELL ASLEEP. HAHAHHAHAAH.
then when we were supposed to stand at attention cause they coming down alrdy,
i still sitting there sleeping sia!!
then cherie have to MICAELA!! then i HUH?!?! then stand up
HAHHAHAHA. aft everything went up to the hall for awhile and left aft that -_-
took pictures with tasmin wenhui and michelle tang! :)
went to change and left school.
took 62 to hougang mall and went to eat at LJS!
yumyum hehhehe and cherie and i did some mirror image of our trays :)
super cool hehehhe.
aft that accompanied geena to go eat her glg and i lie down on the table hahha
went back home aft that and on aircon and SLEPT for 3hr40min :)
hehehhe shiok la ^^
woke up and ate,bathed and here i am :d
heheheheh

Day 2 - your crush.
you treat me like nothing. like i dont exist. i dont exist in your world. in your world, it's only her.
and you.

p.s, i love you

Day 2 - 9 memories you can’t leave behind
hehehehhe got so many sia *v*

#1: recently, CELINE'S 14TH CHALET!!!!
had soooo much fun *v* i love my class so much ♥
huijuan geena michelle brandi rachel celine micaela ruying heheheheh

#2: that time when we were stuck in the lift~
cried, laughed, panicked, acted stupid, all in that crammed lift. that made us closer than we were before. such a scary + awesome time *v*

#3: mini class outing - sentosa trip
though we didnt do much, we still went out together and had fun :) esp when we were leaving. felyn and i chionged back cause we were both in deep shit. hhhehehe and that was when felyn told me her dirty little secret. HEHHEHEHEEHEHHE ♥

#4: SYF 2010
a great experience for me :) first time attending these kinds of things i think o.o actually idk. HAHAHA. but it was definitely awesome. i miss it :'(

#5: drill competition 2009
pioneer 1!!!! ♥ oh man i miss pioneer 1 so much :'( i rmb we wld go to opposite mama shop to have lunch and dominique would have two cups of maggi mee *v* then we went to nicole's hse to take two pictures and just left. HAHAHA. we wld sit in a circle and practice our "SE" and "DUA" hehehe ^^

#6: sundown festival 2009
was such an awesome concert. first kpop concert/festival i ever been to :) i still remember we were the 400th in queue. my sister was the 399th. hehehe. ft islandddd ♥

#7: singapore entertainment awards 2010
first time i ever saw shinee. though i was sitting quite far back,it's better than nothing :) screamed till my lungs went mad and had such a fun time. my god, they were so cool heheehehehehehehehehe!!

#8: 2009 & 2010
i will never forget these two years :) i had soooo much fun with 1-5 and 2-5. most awesomest class you can ever find. definitely.

#9: taiwan (dec 2009)
second time i actually took an aeroplane. lmfao. and i went with giselle :D awesome. had such a great time in taiwan. made new friends too :) awesome trip ♥

those are nine memories i will NEVER forget :) hehehe.

CLICK ON MY NUFFIES PLS :)
thanks ♥

If I could find out how to make you listen now, because I'm starving for you here with my undying love. And I, I will breathe for love tomorrow, cause there's no hope for today. Breathe for love tomorrow, cause maybe there's another way...

2010-10-12T18:04:00.003+08:00

The greatest pain I've ever felt was loving too hard and watching it all fall apart in front of my eyes.

hello :)

felyn and michelle just left my house not too long ago
they were being so retarded. hahahah.
today was such a boring day i almost died :'(
i slept on the floor many times,but most of the times my sleep always gets disturbed!! :@
hahahhaha.

checked paper the whole day today
had quite alot of free time. geena brought a sleeping mask for i hv no idea why. LOL.
we drew eyes on it and when you wear it it looks like your eyes
hehehehe super cute ^^
i slept with it and alot of people laughed hahhahaha
it looks daaaamn cute + retarded!
had like two breaks. the first one,
went to cafe with alfreda and hannah cause felyn and michelle were late!
they went to eat.... macs -_-
hahaahha. got back english, geography, literature and chinese paper today
got third lowest in class for geography. lit and english marks not bad.
i think i got the same marks for both! hahahaha.
chinese paper,im kinda happy with my marks even though it's still an f9!
i improved alot :) hahhahah i tikum(or whatever) one sia!
my mcq is all anyhow one. AND I GOT ALOT CORRECT. cool or what?!
my score for chinese is 39.5/100
i improved by 10++++ marks ok!!! the previous score i got for term 3 was 24 i think!
hehehehehe my tcher happy for me ^^
aft that felyn and michelle came over to my place and we didnt do much
watched youtube videos, stalked people, played maple (haha)

oh and today is uncle aziz's birthday :)
happy birthday! heheh.

kay pls click on my nuffs + leave a tag pls.
thanks heheh ^^ (oh and im gna do the 30 letters and 10 days thing! let's start from today :D)

Day 1 - your best friend.
best friendSSSS can? heheheh. aiyah can lah.
ALFREDA FELYN HANNAH MICHELLE (alphabetical :D) ♥♥♥♥♥
what more can i say? they are the bestesttestestestest bunch of friends you can ever have
PSSST,we're special! we're multi-racial ^^
half indonesian, peranakan, chindian, eurasian and chinese!
how awesome are we ♥
we are the craziest group you can ever find in the entire world
we can go crazy in the middle of nowhere over the slightest things,
and get very serious in the middle of nowhere too :)
i love you all so much i'd give up the world for you girls ♥

Day 1 - 10 people who have impacted your life and why
oh wow, 10 people? :(
that's alot!

#1: my mummy :)
she's the best mum anyone could ever have and even though she's naggy and annoying at times, she's awesomeeeeeee hehehe ^^ i love her to death ♥ actually,to tell you the truth, i hated her before. i didnt love her last time. i thought i was better off without her. then everything changed :) i started appreciating her more! hehe :)

#2: wenhui (HEHE YES YOU!)
near the end of last year and start of this year, we were suuuper close! i mean, we told each other EVERYTHING :) and i could ALWAYS go to her for anything and she'll be there to help me :) but sometimes she will be sleeping and i'll be crying my eyeballs out HEHEH kidding la ^^ but the next morning she will immediately text me to apologise and ask what's wrong :) hehhehe such an awesome senior, no?! ♥

#3: class 2009: 1-5 and class 2010: 2-5
we've been together for two years already. i dont wanna stop here :( but unfortunately,we'll have to go seperate ways next year because of streaming! oh man :( this is the best class ever,we're soooo united and we're so awesome. though there are some annoying people in our class, we still stick together closely through thick and thin ^^ like that time in the lift! hehehe. ♥

#4: that person i liked in 2009 for quite awhile :)
and this person knows i like this person! :) but i dont know whether that person still reads my blog! but aiyah HAHAHAH. this person changed me alot :) this person's the first person i like in secondary school life :) but im over this person alrdy,but i still miss this person! (as a friend) we used to talk almost every day :) heehehehhehe THIS PERSON, if you know it's you im talking about, and if you are reading this, text me / msn me!! ♥

#5: my baby boy, OREO THE CAT / COW / TIGER / CHEETAH
he is the most adorable cat you can ever find. ok maybe not. WAHAHAHA. he is an ordinary cat you can find in singapore,but idk why,to me,in my heart,he is such a special cat. i feel like no other cat can be like my big fat baby boy here. hehehe. i've had him for almost two years already,and im still going googoogaga over him whenever i see him *v* i love him so much and idk what im gna do w/o him, but he cant live forever right? hehehe. nvm. i still love him alot muakczzzcszc ♥

I CANT THINK OF ANYMORE ALRDY. HAHAHAHAHA.
anyway i love everyone i listed up there hehehehehehe
ok gdbye

REPEAT:
CLICK ON MY NUFFS PLSSSSSSSSS ♥♥♥♥
THANKYOUVERYMUCHILOVEYOUHEHEHEH

Stars make me smile, because every time I see one I feel hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a new day with a new feeling. That something different, better, is out there waiting. Everyone wishes on stars with the same hope.

2010-10-11T20:15:00.003+08:00

I'll always know I'm not enough to even make you think

hello :)

actually, i dont really know what to blog about. and i dont really have anything to blog about either. but hahhaha anyway i shall just erm write whatever's on my mind? and whatever i did the past few days :) hahahaha i have no idea why im typing like this. usually i'll type one line then to the the next line and so on. my fingers feels lazy to press on to the enter button. lol.

okay i just did hahaha. OK WHATEVER. LOL. my weekends were alright. i went for frolick with michelle on saturday at hougang mall and she came to my house after that to do nothing. lol. i went for dinner at urban spoon after that, and sunday, went for a chalet and there were many many many kids there! mostly babies, actually :) because the birthday girl turned one years old that day! she is suuupah adorable. but i think jaymus is adorable-er :) hehehe you dk who is he!! he is my secret boyfriend hehehe. he's damn cute ok ^^ and he loves to play with my phone heheh he will turn and play with it alot! heheh.

ok i cant stand typing like this :( im not used to it. HAHA.
anyway. today was boring.
i woke up slightly later than usual and had to take a cab to school
i waited TWENTY minutes for one. how sickening is that ;'(
reached school and had briefings and a one hour recess :) awesome.
innovation week - compose a song for our school ....
ok....
anyway my group already finished it. WAHHAHAHAAHA.
so friday and monday we have nothing to do.
that's kinda good and bad at the same time. hahahah.
after school, had some founders day rehearsal
this is my third year doing it oh my gawd :'(
we have to stand there and lead the way to the frickin agape concert hall for the guest of honour
it's super tiring because sometimes the guest of honour takes a suuuper long time to arrive :(
annoying. hahahaha.
after the rehearsal cherie and i went to buy bubble tea!
tried ice blended lemon for the first time :)
nice! hehhehe.
after that uncle aziz came and sent cherie then me back
here i am ~~

tmr is uncle aziz's birthday :)
i bought a board for him alrdy
gna print his photos and write stuffs on it.
hahahha standard lor.

kk pls pls pls PLSSSS click on my nuffnangs + leave a tag :)
thankssssssssssssss *hearts*

Now look, we've made a fool out of love
when all we want is to be enough
when all we want is to feel enough

2010-10-08T21:22:00.004+08:00

7th October 2010: Happy 14th birthday Celine!!! ^^

kk haaaaai!!

i was mia away from the computer yesterday and like almost the whole day of today!
why?
i was at celine's birthday party / chalet :D
yayyy. it was so much fun heheheh.
laugh until stomach pain la.
esp us!! the 8 of us who stayed overnight :
celine micaela michelle huijuan rachel geena brandi ruying!!!! *v*

yesterday, woke up at 930
got ready and met vanna and michelle at kovan
mich's parents sent us to habourfront and we walked to vivo
ate at coffee bean and laughed at some old man sleeping on the sofa
hahahah he slept there for like 3 hours la!!!
oh ya and vanna hehehe my love at first sight omg *v*
okok dont say alrdy HAHAHAH!
anyway aft that met the rest and we went to eat pizza hut for lunch!
ate cheesy 7.
OMG. cheesy laik siao~~~~
then went into sentosa. walked around before going to the chalet room
i cant really remember what happened!
i think we walked around the beach and took photos hahah
then we slacked in the chalet room and idk did what
OH i was lying beside ruying and playing bejeweled together heheheh ^^
oh and my pastor shifu huijuan taught me some camera stuffs ^^
heheheheh rlly my shifu sia!
had dinner + cut cake session
fun ttm hehhee aft everyone sat at the table and played
we played tarzan the monkey man and made our own version!!!
hehehehehe damn unique one okeh ^^ :
tarzan the ahbeng man, sitting on the ahlian chair, pop goes the ahma chair, what colour is the ahbeng's hair!?!??!!?
i like the last one. HEHEHHEHE.
ok anyway we played imitation games too and it was suuuupah funny
ESP THE CARISSA ONE HAHAHAHA THE TWO FINGERS AND "SHHHHH"
HAHAHAHHA carissa i know you're reading this.
YOU CFM TEXT ME TO SCOLD ME ONE HAHAHAHAHAH
ok anyway!!! went back to the chalet and everyone took turns to bathe
then we all sat on the bed and played some card games,
then we had h2h talks heheheh ^^
we spent like two hours talking about our secrets and other stuffs!!!
and it was kept between the TEN walls we had in the room ^^
so nothing will be leaked out! hehhehe.
we slept at around 3 like that,
then at like 4am plus geena farted damn loudly HAHHAHAHAHA
ok la she didnt fart. but her air matress made some stupid farting sound cause she was moving around
so noisy la walao. EVERYONE woke up HAHAHAHAH
then we all like scolding geena like that LOL
fell asleep real quick after that and woke up at 730!
everyone got ready and went for breakfast @ coastes i think
the stupid music there was rlly stupid it made us damn pekcek HAHHHAHAH
aft that we to sit the sky ride and LUGE !!
was daaaaamn fun hehehhee.
but during the sky ride got three ahpunehnehs sitting opposite direction
they were like...... saying hi to us and pointing their cameras at us... o_o
ok anw HAHAHAH played the luge thing. fun ttm ^^
went back and changed, headed to the beach
everyone suntanned except for celine and i
we went into the water to play :D it's been long since i went into the water!
built retarded mini sandcastles hehehhe.
aft that went back and everyone took turns to bathe again
but this time, i was the first! yayyyy. HAHAHAH.
headed to some mamashop/restaurant for lunch and the food was yummy ^^
went back to the chalet room to go crazy hehehehe
we recorded ourselves singing and going crazy and we taupok-ed alot of ppl *v*
OH YA and we prank call kfc and mcdonalds. DAMN FUNNY HAHHAA.
we called kfc and asked for pizza
then the woman was like " this is kfc delivery! " and michelle was like "we got the wrong number?!?!?1 OH NO...!!!"
and i started singing "MARI KITA RAKYAT SINGAPURA....."
HAHAHAHAH damn funny i swear. then the woman hang up on us hmpf :(
HAHHAHA! we stacked the air matresses and taupok-ed each other
super funny. brandi did a "sumersot" that's how she spelt it on twitter (i think)
HAHAHAHAHHA FUNNY AH BRANDI?!!?!
anw aft that at ard 6plus everyone left
waited for mummy for DAMN long and i was drowning in my own perspiration
i was damn pissed aft that and quarelled w mummy
aiyah.......... sorry mummy.

kkz chalet was a blast teehee
click on nuffs + tag pls ^^
gamxia (thank you in hokkien LOL)

2010-10-06T21:08:00.005+08:00

It hurts so badly to hold on, but for some reason I can't let go

hello :)

everyone shout hoooorayyyyy
today was the last day of end of year exams!
awesomeness :) freedom at last! - from the books
have i typed this before? i think i did. HAHA.
i'm not sure about going out and partying everyday though
my mum was in a bad mood last night, idk why either :'(
i asked her if i could go to celine's chalet tomorrow,
she told me "see how", then i told her but i need to know by tonight, because i think celine had something to prepare for the people that are going
but my mum actually said "that's your problem. that's her problem"
i didnt know what happened :/
and another thing she actually said to hurt me
i walked into my room and actually cried ._.
but when i was infront of her,i bit my lip and scratched myself to keep me from crying infront of her
mummy, you dont know right?
last night,i kept asking myself "did i do anything wrong..? why is she acting like this? i did something right?"
but i kept telling myself that maybe it's just because of your work
maybe something happened at work. yeah.
that's it :)

had chinese listening compre today and art paper
LC was okay.
i completed my art in like what, 45 minutes?
i slept for 45 minutes straight after that
two words.
PURE AWESOMENESS ( if awesomeness is even a word )
but i woke up with numb hands and feet :(
yes both!!
i had a hard time un-numbing them. LOL.
after the papers i went home straight
rotted my afternoon away

towards the evening idk why i felt so...... hurt all of a sudden
and i felt so.. sad all of a sudden
i know the reason why, and yet i dont know the reason why
but i got WAAAAY better after i noticed there ARE people who cares for me :')
people asked me if i was alright,
and if i needed anyone to talk to, i could go to them
im sooo grateful for my friends. now, i know that there are people who cares :)
and even if YOU dont feel like anyone cares for you,
trust me, there are people out there who cares
and there will definitely be ONE person who cares wayyy much more for you than others
God.

click on my nuffies pls :)
thanks so much *spam hearts*
byebye ^^

(EDIT@1015PM)
hello ^^ im back again
im just here to give a short edit
tonight,is definitely the best night ever
serious
i almost cried tonight.
no, not because im sad. but because im happy. tears of joy :')
i havent had them in a long time now.
why? because everyone is so nice to me.
thanks,everyone. you all build me up.
you all make me stronger. because of you guys,im stronger than ever.
friends are so important in my life :')
thanks so much everyone *hearts*
it feels as if a million people asked me to cheer up and said if i ever needed someone to talk to,
i could go to them.
i can never be more thankful :')
they came in texts, twitter, and tags (in my tagboard)
thanks. so much. i cannot stop saying thanks lah ok!
everytime i get a new "cheer up,everything will be fine soon" or "stay strong"
i will tear and smile at the same time

you guys build me up and strengthen me
thank you all
i love you all so much

2010-10-05T19:41:00.004+08:00

It's just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're mine

hello :)

today is the 2nd last day of exams!
tomorrow,it's just left with art and chinese listening comprehension,
then,it's overrrrrrrr baby!!!!!!
freedom~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ from the books.
HAAHAHAH. but wait till results come back
that will be the killer. lol.
anyway 7th october - celine's chalet!
shld i go? im kinda lazy though. HAHAHHA. okay okay i shall go ^^
i ask mummy ltr! :D
oh yes im addicted to wheesung's voice heheheh so nice *v*

anyway,today had a hard time waking up
got up,got ready and took bus to school
did not go up to the classroom as there wasnt much time anyway
stayed downstairs with celine, carissa and ruying!
assembly,fell asleep during silent revision lol.
chinese paper was damn erm..... hard?
HAHAHAH i didnt even know anything.
comprehension,i anyhow write one.
thank god the second passage they gave a story i knew about
and the story was sad (at the ending)
it was about the apple tree and the boy,yknow that one
then someone wrote in that this story relates to real life
it's like the boy is us,and the tree is the parents.
whenever you're in trouble, in need of help, in need of money, or in need of anything,
you go to your parents and ask
other than that, you dont even talk to them, go out with them, spend time with them
it's like they're your atm machine,yknow?
you only go to them whenever you need something from them
sorry sidetrack abit ( or whatever )
i dont get why some people wish their parents dead or divorced or just not around
i also dont get why some people just cant see that their parents are trying their best
you may be hating your mum and thinking your mum hates you too (or dad)
but who knows... maybe, just maybe, at night, when you're sleeping, you THINK they're sleeping too,
but they're not.
maybe, they're crying because of the ruined relationship with you
maybe, they're thinking that they have failed as a mother/father in the family
maybe, they're wishing and praying so hard every night, that god would just somehow fix this broken relationship
some parents arent good in expressing themselves in terms of love
sometimes they're just too stressed they will just burst out at home
but have you ever tried thinking what they're going through?
to take care of a family, give you your allowance, feed you with food, clothe you, buy your school books, pay school fees, buy school stuffs(pinafore, socks etc), buy stationary, bags, and more
they have to face the shitty office or wherever they work everyday in the morning to afternoon,
and when they come back, they're treated by your attitude towards them
of course they wouldnt be able to take it, right?
and if you think your parents hates you, you're wrong.
IF they hated you,they would have dumped you long ago
why are they still giving you food if they hate you?
why are they still buying clothes, books, and all the things i listed up there if they hated you?
if they hated you, they wouldn't give a damn about you
they wouldnt leave you money to buy food, they wouldnt give you allowance, nothing
you may feel that they dont love you,
it's just problems expressing, you have to understand

as for my mum...
im trying my best not to disappoint her,
im trying my best to be a good girl.
because i know i've hurt her a million times
and the pain i've caused her will definitely leave a scar
her heart already has a deep cut with whatever she has been through in her life
she always says that she has failed as a mother
but no, i have failed as a daughter.
it's me.
and yes, because of my parents' divorce,
my mum did try to take her life before
she was standing at the 11th floor of a building, ready to jump anytime
luckily, uncle aziz rushed there to pull her down :')
my mum is the strongest woman i've ever seen.
maybe i should post my life story here LOL
like what's going on with my family and all
hmmm, maybe, one day, just one day, maybe i'll do it :')
because you all have no idea what im going through at home..

anywayyyyyy,
i guessed my way through the mcq section in my paper
i eenimyneeminimo (IDK HOW TO SPELL OK HAHAHAH)
aft the paper went to bishan with giselle!
ate macs breakfast, then we decided to watch a movie hhahahha
we nothing to do lor
watched Love Cuts
not bad sia the show! very sad though hahhahah
made giselle and i cry! and we didnt even know what it was about before we stepped into the cinema
HAHAHAH. after that walked around abit more,
then i took 88 back.
slept, watched invincible youth, and here i am :)
alright.

quite an emotional post, huh?
but seriously, read through.
i hope, i just hope, that it will change some people after they read this
really, your parents are very important
dont wish for them to be dead or divorced or whatever
you wouldnt want that, trust me
treasure them, before it's too late
when something happens to them, it'll be too late to do anything, too late to regret
too late
even if your parents are annoying and naggy, just try to tolerate a little,
and tell yourself that it's really for your own good
tbh, my mum is also VERY annoying at times
sometimes, i just cant stand her
but i still try to understand and tolerate,
i try. i try so hard.
but i feel as if no matter how much i try,
i'll never be a good daughter

2010-10-02T20:44:00.003+08:00

I wish I could walk away and forget about what we had. Just like how you did.

hello :)

had an awesome day today with michelle
heheheh she's my lovelove *v*
jealous? HEHEHHEHE. okie anyway
mummy's coming back ltr!!
landing @ 945pm :)
gna fetch her @ the airport. made a "banner" thingy for her
HAHAHAHAHAH so cute right me and uncle aziz *v*
yesh i knowz hehehehehehe
im hungry!!!! :(

woke up at 11 like that today~~
used computer then after awhile michelle texted me to ask me if i wanted to go over :)
asked uncle aziz and he said ok!
i went aand we didnt even study though we said we wanted to ._.
we played retarded stuffs like habbo. HAHAHHAHAHA.
damn funny ok.
we were harrassing people LOL
some guy said we were hot :$ i shy la. HAHAHAAAHHAHA MY GOD.
then we started taking pictures,
and we did the most retarded stuffs ever *v*
but it was an awesome way of de-stressing hehehhehe
cause there was nobody at home,
so we blast old old songs and sang at the top of our voices
aalso..... we recorded it
HAHAHAH damn funny i swear
then if we didnt know the lyrics,we would go... LALALALLALALALALAADADADADADA.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA oh man
i love michellelzxchan so much ^^ *heart spam*

okiez im so excited for mummy to come back ^^
i miss her so much!!1
hehehhe and she bought so many things for me also *v*
awesome shitz.

kkkkkkzz tag + click on nuffs pls ^^
thanks!!! byebye.

So where has all the day gone? And why are my lungs aching when I breathe? Is there something wrong with the heat? Why am I so cold? My heart feels sick and it hurts when I speak. So wake, wake up. Was this what we hoped for?

2010-09-30T15:09:00.004+08:00

I wish I could be a better me, for you

hello :(

yes. i put a sad face there because my day was utterly h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e
i felt so terrible the whole day i wanted to kill myself :'(

i woke up with super bad cramps and i took two panadol extras
aft that i was ok alryd
i went to school and i started feeling damn freaking giddy :(
when i stood up for assembly i almost fell backwards cause i couldnt balance properly :(
my head felt like there was no blood running thru it and it was super light
alfreda said i was pale and that its ok cause i can be angmoh for a day -____-
start of paper,my hand was shaking badly i couldnt even write properly :'(
i begged god to just let me faint if i was going to faint alrdy
why torture me T.T
recess,my pain came back. i took another two panadol extras.
i couldnt talk fast and talk too much or laugh.
i had to talk slowly if not i'll go breathless and get super giddy again
went back up for second paper.
oh yah and when i walk down the stairs,my leg super jelly-like and like no energy like that
felt like i can fall down anytime.
start of english paper,my hand was shaking again
after awhile it was ok alrdy.
still felt damn giddy :( i slept after i completed the paper.
after that michelle's dad sent me to kovan
came back and felt super giddy again i swear i wanted to kill myself
when i turn behind to look at something,then i turn back
the giddiness will attack me again
omg how sia........ :(
everyone say i got low blood level/low blood sugar
mummy says when she comes back she's gna bring me go see doctor,
and uncle aziz said they'll have to take my blood :'(
omfg idw sia i think i will cry! :'(
pls pls pls pls let me be alright by tmr PLEASE
idw go for blood test :'(
i will scream like a monkey going crazy ok :(
ok byebye :(

click on nuffs pls :(

If I could I would do all of this again, travel back in time with you to where this all began. We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind, and make believe there's something left to find.

(EDIT@0325PM)
OH MY GOD

Mnet Concert in Singapore! A fusion of Chinese and Korean Pop culture not to be missed! It happened previously in Taiwan and Thailand – now it’s coming to Singapore! It happens on 4th and 5th of December, line-up as follows!

4 December: Miss A, Mblaq, 2AM & 2PM
5 December: Fahrenheit 飛輪海, Landy Wen 温岚, Guang Liang 王光良, Van Fan & Craze Band 范逸臣& 酷爱乐团, Harlem Yu 庾澄慶

One more KPOP ARTISTE will be added to the 4 Dec list! Who will it be? Stay tuned for updates!

source: x

KILL ME NOW CVYGTY320U9RPJFEVDKHYGT9DYW08UPJASKGBTH085ER

2010-09-29T12:29:00.002+08:00

Seems like the only person you can't get to smile is yourself

hello :)

im currently sitting outside at the living room watching fairly oddparents
its damn fujnny HAHHAHAHAHAH
im laughing to myself LOL
ok anyway im kinda lazy to blog :(
but hahahah i shall!!

monday i woke up early and sent mummy off to the airport
aww i miss her so bloody much alrdy :(
i dont know how im going to survive two weeks when mummy will be leaving for china :(
in november hahhaahah oh man
yesterday had history paper!!
it was okay :) i wrote until my hand pain hahahaha
aft that took a train down to plaza singapura with giselle
---LMFAO FAIRLY ODDPARENTS DAMNNN FUNNY---
okok anyway HAHAHHA ate long john silvers and she kept stealing my crumbs hmpf
then we walked to cathay and wanted to watch movie but got no movie to watch haaha
so we just walked randomly and walk walk walk
then we took 147 and went home :)

today had lit paper and after that i came back and here i am
hahahha ok i wna waatch tv alrdy BYEBYEBEYEBYEBYE

click on my nuffs pls hehhehehe *hearts*

I am unbreakable, but it looks like I could sometime soon. You are unreachable, about as possible as me touching the moon. I am unraveling, unbearably empty. And if this grounds gives way, I just hope that you'll catch me.

2010-09-26T20:49:00.003+08:00

It’s not easy, isn't it? Fighting for something you could have had and wondering if maybe it’s already too late.

hello everybody :)

well,today was a lazyyyyy sunday.
i still cant believe i was actually stuck in the school's lift for thirty minutes
we have to face our punishment on tuesday
or maybe,just maybe,they'll forget about it
muahahahhahah,and we'll get away with it.
but,nah i doubt so.
oh well,we just have to get ready for whatever punishment they give us!!
even my mum is ready for it
HAHAHAH. :)

yesterday was fine. i woke up at 815 and had prata for breakfast.
went to wr's house to have tuition
im so glad it's the last lesson!
i hate the teacher,he's so freaking annoying
he's scared of beechy(her dog) such a loser
and he treats me like im invisible. hello? you're teaching two students.
not just one!
he keeps looking at wr and doesnt give a damn about me
sometimes,just sometimes,he will ask me to do stuffs,
other than that,when he's explaining,he will look at wr.
-_______- anyway im glad it's alllllll over!!
after that i took a bus to hougang mall to meet mummy for lunch :)
we had sushi and after that she dragged me into her aunty shop again :(
she bought like 5 blouses from there!!!!! 200bucks plus.
sighhhh mummy ahhhh., HAHAHAHA.
we went to the basement and i saw frolick!!!
i bought a cup :) then went to change money. SGD to KW (korea won? JHAHAHAHA)
uncle aziz came to fetch us and we went back
i bathed then went to bed. mum woke me up at 545 and got ready to go cycling!!!
we went to pasir ris park and cycled till butt pain :(
i sat on a swing and uncle aziz pushed me until damnnnn high!!1
i was screaming HAHAHAH but damn fun :D
went to cafeela after that to have crab + prawn :D
we sat outside - bad choice :(
there was a freaking, and i mean FREAKING, huge beetle flying around.
it was so disgusting and i creeped out.
i stood up and hid behind my mum when it was near us
my whole body felt so itchy after that :(
after awhile it disappeared and i could eat in peace :) ehehe.
went to urban spoon after that and i played with mummy's iphone.
went back,bathed and slept :)

mummy woke me up at 12 today and woke up to go downstairs to have brunch!
came up myself as mummy and aunty went to ntuc to buy stuff
lazed around the wholeeee day.
maybe,MAYBE,im getting another cat!! LIKE,TOMORROW!!!
yes hehehhe joey offered it to me :)
yay cant wait for mummy to get home to approve or disapprove(hope not)
i swear the kitten's perfect :)
ragdoll, 2months old, female, blue eyes :)
such a beauty,isnt she? :)

alright, mummy's leaving for korea tomorrow at 7am
i have to wake up early to send her off!
oh man :( im going to miss her!
im gna be so lonely at home hahahah though i have my cat ahma and maid
still,it'll feel different w/o her!!!
i wrote her a note in her notebook and told her NOT to read it until she reaches korea :)
heheheh.

click on my nuffs + tag + formspring + tweet out my blog + myworldoftext!!
hehehhe so many things. oops!
but nuffs MOST impt :)
pls and thanks *hearts everywhere*

I’m talking to the ceiling, my life just lost all meaning. Do one thing for me tonight - I’m dying in this silence. The last star left in Heaven is falling down to Earth and, do you still feel the same way? Do you still feel the same way? Fuck, I can’t let this kill me - let go.

[EDIT@1002PM]
IM GETTING ANOTHER CAT
HELL YES :D
it's gonna arrive tmr!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!
but.... joey said its most probably only...
PLEASE GOD GOD GOD GOD PLEASE PLEASE
I PRAY LET IT BE REAL AND NOT FAKE :(
PLS I PRAY IT WILL ARRIVE HEALTHILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok bye

2010-09-24T19:45:00.002+08:00

the day we got stuck in the lift

it all started out a happy lunch.
the eight of us - me, huijuan, brandi, hannah, michelle, alfreda, ruying and geena, were happily eating our lunch and filling our empty tummies with delicious food. LOL.
then we decided to play.
we put all sorts of food and disgusting stuff in a bottle and mixed everything up
the bottle contained:
sotong, rice, peas, corn, carrot, plastic, two 5-cent coins, kuaytiow, noodles, soup, chicken, chicken bone, chilli sauce, that brown thing you put on your noodles, vegetables, curry leaf, pink dolphin, soap, water and milo.
yes that is our recipe ^^
we filled it up and i swear it looked like vomit.
we kept it with us hhahahaha.
then it was time to go up to our classroom which was located at the fourth storey
because we were too lazy to climb up,
we took the lift.
bad choice, my dears, bad choice.
here's the whole sequence:

we took the lift up to the fourth storey and was squeezing to the left side of the lift,
suddenly,halfway from three to four,the lift went BOOOOOOOOOOOOM
then it stopped, then it went down abit,and went BOOOOOOOOOM again.
then. that was it. we were stuck.
we pressed ALLLLL the buttons but non of them lit up.
michelle was hilarious. she was the first to cry and shouted CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!
huijuan forced open the door and it was the wall.
we were stuck in between the second and third floor.
we all took out our phones to check to see if there is any reception.
sadly,none :(
thank god we had michelle,she put her phone to the highest point at the door,
and THERE WAS RECEPTION!!!!!!!
we called miss ng and put her on loudspeaker and told her we were stuck in the lift
she said ok she will tell the office
so we waited.... and waited....
we got bored and scared at the same time lol.
michelle sat on the floor and played music and everyone laughed,
and the whole lift shook. after that, no one dared to move. LOL.
hannah was like "later the cable snap!!!"
and michelle went "we're hanging on one string!!"
and everyone was like "we're gonna die!!!"
HAHAAHAHA IT WAS HILARIOUS,to think about it.
then we all went TOUCH WOOD TOUCH WOOD WONT DIE.
but we were like,EH!!!!!1 NO WOOD TO TOUCH1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and michelle took out a piece of paper and we all molested it.
cause, trees = wood = paper, right?
yea. that was how retarded we were. HAHAHAHAH.
we all stood in a circle to even out our weight and prayed
we held hands and our pastor huijuan prayed for us. HAHAHAHAHA.
there was one time we kept quiet and we could hear miss ng's voice from above!!!!
she went "WAIT AH!!!!"
and we were so relieved to hear her voice.

after about 30 minutes, the lift moved.
it went BOOOOOOOOOOM. and everyone got up and held hands.
then suddenly the door opened abit!!!!
it was totally nothing but the wall.
actually on top got abit of opening.
then suddenly the door closed again. then silence.........
and the lift BOOOOOM shake shake and moved up.
then........................
the lift door opened and we saw the library!!!!!!!!1
everyone DASHED out and left everything in the lift.
there were three bottles and michelle's wallet on the floor
i was the last to leave because i threw everything out of the lift and stepped out.
i was damn scared i'll get stuck inside myself lah ok HAHAHAHAH
i chiong out and sat on the floor and was so relieved to breathe fresh air
after that,we went to see miss ng and she said we're gonna get punished on tuesday :(
oh well. what to do. hhahaa.

here's the video of our rescue and the time we got out(yes i was crying cause i was so happy!!!):

three more videos in our fan page on facebook "PL lift trauma" :) (it's clickable)

that was my interesting and traumatising friday afternoon :)
hahhahhaha yeap.
you can see brandi's and huijuan's blog for the same incident but in differnet words?
HAHAHAH.
yea. goodbye :)

oh and click on nuffs + tag pls! much loves.

2010-09-20T16:22:00.002+08:00

I LOVE VANNA THE AWESOME! ♥♥

hgeheheheheheheheee screen shit ;)

I sleep so I don’t have to feel the truth - that you can’t ever be the one person that won’t ever forget me.

hello! :)

today was boring. i had to make sure i woke up not late and not be late for school!
or else i die, HAHAHAH stress much?!
but ite i wasnt late hehe :D im pro!
LOL ok anw nothing much today
me mich felyn chervelle merissa and tabz used laptop during chinese class & stalked ppl HAHA
hls didnt even care lmao
she gave up on us alrdy i swear hahahaah
it was chervelle's laptop btw!
anw had recess, math then bio.
copied and wrote like mad for math and bio
my hand pain sia :(
there wasnt history today idk why also
so we were released early! uncle aziz came to fetch me home hehe :)

exam is starting this friday :( oh man.

okay pls click on my nuffs and leave a tag :)
thnks hehehe love you all (k)

Hiding from the world's no way to live. So I'll convince myself that I'll be fine, I'll be fine. But since I lost you I'm barely holding on. So I look up to the stars and wonder out loud why everything I had in life has fallen from my arms. Can you even hear this song? I'm screaming at the clouds; screaming to a galaxy that never cared at all, that I need you here.

2010-09-17T18:19:00.002+08:00

Rescue me from everything, I just wanna live. I wish I could breathe.

hello :)

i just text daddy,arranging tmr's meet-up time :)
going to his place tmr
i love daddy so much,he's so cute *hearts*
and yet i hate daddy so much,he's such a jerk
hahahahah oh man.
anyway i closed my smiley :) hahahah
so many people went "wah so good girl ah!!"
i just dont want my mum to find out and i disappoint her again
hahahha yes something happened,shall not say it here
maybe one day i will confess my sin to the whole world thru my blog :)
yeah. one day? hahahahah.

anyway the past few days were alright i guess
i didnt have much trouble trying to stay awake in class,
i have no idea why hahahah.
today passed real quick.
i woke up,went to school and had assembly,i thought there was spotcheck today
but dont have :@
literature for the first period,
mr teo was being such an ass.
recess next,had recess with hannah and michelle only as alfreda didnt come and felyn was sleeping in class,she didnt want to wake up to eat hahah she was sleepy
went back up and had english.
my favourite teacher came in hahahah yay
she's so nice :)
did compre + vocab + summary, and when dhaliwal came in and my fav tcher left,
the first thing she did was tell me off cause my summary too little words -___-
chinese next,we didnt do anything.
i spent the first quarter of the time doing my YOG article thing cause i didnt bring it
so i had to redo it -__-
went to the toilet with chervelle felyn and michelle and listened to music for awhile,
went back and didnt do anything hahah
bio next,mrs phua didnt come in. neither did mr shah.
sat at the back with felyn and michelle and talked hahaha
plucked out leg hair also LMAO HAHAHAH
math next,spent the whole of the two periods copying corrections in a group
i had chinese oral next. michelle tan also had oral!
i was in the same group as her or smth hhahahah
i was stuttering like mad and the tcher made me skip one whole paragraph cause i was reading it really slowly and retardedly hHAHAHAH
for the conversation part i swear i didnt know what to say so i anyhow blab out shit
it ended really quickly because i didnt have anything to say hahah
went to find michelle tan and charlene @ canteen after that,
then went upstairs to the classroom to find celine and leyun
they were talking and playing while i sat there and talked to myself HAHAHAHH retarded,no?
actually i was talking to them but they were playing and ignored me -_-
asses lah hahahahahaha
after that celine fetched me to hougang interchange thr via cab ^^
thanks celine heheheh.
101-ed home and here i am. i had a really early dinner.
leftover spaghetti :) best.

tmr i have tuition at wr's place @ 10am :(
then sunday i have chinese tuition.
oh man i hate chinese.
i should really get my math tutor to come for awhile until end of eoys
do you think it's too late? LOL. idk.

anyway,i realised the nuffnang ads appeared :)
please click on them!!!
thanks <3

2010-09-14T16:00:00.003+08:00

You build me up, then you knock me down

hello :)

im going to cut hair later ahhahah yay
mummy's bringing me.
after invincible youth though,i wna watch!
hahaha.
kay im really sleepy omg :(
2nd day of school and im so tired of it alrdy!!

on sunday,felyn came again hahahah
mummy left halfway and felyn and i left too
walked arnd for damn long heheheh winkz
then walked to hougang mall to get some stuffs and came back
bought fries and burger and came back up to eat
then blah blah we did some agent 007 stuffs
HHAHAHAHA ok nah idk why i suddenly felt like saying that
anw she left @ arnd 810? yep.
then i cant rmb what i did,
but i know i couldnt sleep at night
i think i tossed and turned for like freaking 2 hours zzz
hahahahha so torturous lah wlao :(
k anyway i cant remember what happened yesterday(monday)

i went to schl and blah blah
after that went home to change then bus-ed down to twin's place w geena
went to her house to 'study'
hahahahhaa we camwhored alot ite and i didnt even study
went home @ arnd 6plus

today,nothing much agn hahahah
woke up and went to school.
was boring. chinese halfway got fire drill hahhahaha.
then 2-1's chinese tcher super cute ok HAHHAHA
she took the fire extinguisher!!! LOL!!
but is false alarm hahahah
but the whole school still gathered @ the assembly ground though
haahahah anyway continued w chinese
had english next. ruying and i were falling asleep hahhhahha.
recess. wasted like half of my recess time on VANNA :@
HAHHAHAHA k nvm nvm :D
math then d&t,nothing much.
aft that bus-ed home and asked my maid to buy macs for me :D

heehehhe ok tmr nothing on,
thursday maybe felyn coming over,
friday i have science tuition with wr,
saturday science tuition with wr AGAIN. LOL.
maybe chinese tuition too zzz hahahaha
anyway i rlly need math tuition
ok nvm hahahhahahahahahah

click on nuffs pls (if it appears)
thnks bye *hearts*

It’s hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen. But it’s even harder to give up when it’s everything you want.
I keep forgetting to forget you

2010-09-12T14:34:00.002+08:00

I lost you. I lost you forever and can never get you back.

hello :)

my mum went to buy for me curve ruler and bubble tea
i lost my curve ruler :(
either i left it in school or it died somewhere or smth
LOL yup so im getting a new one
i almost completed all my holiday homework alrdy!
gonna finish up the rest by today :)
well duh tmr start schl alrdy.

ok yesterday felyn came to my house to study :)
actually,i woke up at 845am and went to get ready for tuition @ wanrong's
i waited for the bus for like 20 minutes ok:( i almost died
reached and played with beechy (her dog HAHAHAHHA idk how to spell)
tuition tcher came & had tuition blah blah
went home and waited for felyn
she came, and we went to buy macs
her lover was there HAHAHAHAH shhhh!!! *winks*
came up and mummy was watching some indian show on vasantham :(
we cldnt change the channel!!!!
but its kinda funny too HHAHAHAHA so its ok!
after that,studied and played at the same time HAHAHHAH
ok maybe she's coming again today

k bye. pls click on my nuffs.
idk why it disappeared :(
but if you can see it PLS click on it ^^
thanks. heheeheh.

I find it really hard to accept that some things in life will never go back to the way it used to be, and all I can do is think about it all the time, wishing I could re-live it. When I close my eyes, I think about all the good times we had.. but it's all in the past, and I can never get it back. I loved those days, and I miss them so much. It hurts to know that those memories will always stay in my mind no matter what I do.. but I know it's impossible to go back.